oh good, I think they're gone
the painters?
my herpes
there's a booger on my laptop, i suspect it's yours
Nothings more american than taking a shit with a handgun next to you.
He came on my face and tried to draw out a smiley face because he said I looked like I had a bad day
is it bad that listening to the rabbi's wife talk about how we should only be with one person is making me really, really horny for no string attached sex
This is worse than the time I broke into Subway to steal bread.
Just rescued a super cute pair of Gucci heels off the sorority lawn on my way to work. Things are worth two paychecks. Fuck trust fund kids.
Well on a lighter note, I had sex in a food truck.
I might as well rub my vagina against it before I throw it away.
last night we were hooking up when all the sudden he just murmured "mm blonde". i don't know what to think about this situation.
I'll send you pictures of my nipples so you don't feel left out.
Worse. He's Mormon. At least a gay guy will go get drinks with me.
It may be a clusterfuck, but I'll be looking classy as shit as I watch the nightmare unfold
I just saw puke on the road at the same stoplight i threw up at sunday morning! Makes me smile inside.
I just put together something from IKEA so that’s mandatory oral for a week.
Randomize
