i told her that she could bring as many friends as she wanted and then she asked how many people i could fit in my bed...BEST. DAY. EVERRRR.
It hit me after I slept with his best friends and brother, that maybe I took it a bit far
They walked in to the store, ripped up the phone book, and left. Can we get on their level?
I swear to god if he wasnt on the fourth floor balcony and I wasn't to drunk to climb I would kill him
I would've been fine if I didn't do the three shots
You did like 8
You have to figure out where to put this turtle dude
I feel like the only phrases I can clearly speak while drunk consist of: i'm fucking drunk, chug, and shots
Good. We don't answer calls at dick thirty.
Based on the grey fur I pulled from my teeth, I think her vagina has mice.
Getting your clit pierced is not something you want to trust to a crazy girl with an ice cube, some vodka, and a sewing needle. Trust me. I learned that the hard way.
Currently hiding in the shower from the RA and my elbow turns it on. Showers and Ciroc don't mix..
Just had my very first high conversation with mom
And you survived it! I'd say that earns you a "Blaze It Like a Real Adult" from the Grown-up Girl Scouts
He kept kissing me on the cheek when I was pretending to sleep while he cried
Never doubt me. I am drunk and unstoppable and I will finish this book
All I fucking want right now is a cheeseburger the size of my face
Randomize
