here I sit at Southern Illinois' finest pubs and I thought I heard your laugh. I was sadly astonished to turn and find a midget cracking herself up reading the label on her can of chewing tobacco...
is it sad that pink shorts and cowboy hats remind me of getting jizz in the hair?
Just got arrested at PF changs. Happy New year, China
It's chlamydia! Thank God!
Just saw a porn entitled "Nad Biter". Redheads are now forever out of the picture.
thanks for being the calm eye of my shit storm.
He's so drunk he thinks he's the ultimate warrior. Told cops he was from parts unknown. Never broke character
For the record, it's NEVER ok to discuss my stripper-related injuries with my fiance.
Sexting Captain while emailing my eharmony match about my low key weekend is hard.
We should just do therapy together, clearly we have all the same issues. It's why we are friends.
Gramp just called her sex-on-a-stick. AKA HE CALLED HER A WHORE. My 75 year old grandfather just called your ex's new thing a whore.
How many fucks given?
0.12846
I can feel your judgement through the phone
It's brunch. If you find dick at brunch. You an A+ hoe.
on a scale of one to ten where does vomming from being hungover during a professionalism lecture fit
Randomize
