"Reality" and all separate lives are the same thing?... We all have separate realities?! My life Has one reality and yours has another?
Haha how much did you smoke
4 feet of smokeee!
i woke up this morning to a slap on the ass and jake saying "you should let me put it in your ass now" i need out of this relationship.
for sure. did you let him do it?
thats not the point.
You fell asleep mid BJ last night. I put your pants back on you. My ego is pretty bruised this morning.
It was like a lincoln log. Seriously. I don't know who's more pissed, me or my vagina...worst.hookup.ever.
he told her to call him "Frog Legs" and she still fucked him and not you.
aaaaaand im pretty certain i told that boy i just met that "his balls better be out tomorrow"
I JUST HAD PHONE SEX. WHILE TAKING A BATH. FOR AN HOUR. EATING A PLATE OF BURRITOS. TOP THAT SHIT.
My drug dealer is making me hot tea during the snowstorm...I'm a fan.
He passed out. I tried to set his chest hair on fire.
I just noticed that pic of your cock has a Christmas tree in the background. It's July.
The only time we had a decent conversation was when he was on acid, and, like, that's not a great start to a relationship.
She's the prison bitch to my Martha Stewart.
i can believe you didnt get any, i was wing-girling the shit out of him
all you did was repeatedly scream GET IT IN
What's with guys asking if I wanna "kick it" like I'm some fucking 19 year old
In the last 3 weeks my drunken adventures have caused me to lose 2 credit cards, one debit card, a bracelet, two purses, and my $500 phone... Maybe i should quit drinking.
Randomize