WHY DIDN'T ANYON E TELL ME SHE WAS SIXTEEN
Where are I am going home with Ryan
I don't know who this or Ryan is but it is probably too late to talk you out of it
puked in the new hous. now it's officially home.
our landlord thinks we're weird & alcoholics. he came in to fix our broken tub and saw the laundry door on our table for beer pong, the garbage bag full of empty fifths, and that one armed baby on the doorstep. plus he saw us swimming and yargging in our pirate pool that one time.
You are two creepy Justin Bieber quotes away from me not talking to you for the rest of the day
If I had a pelvic thrust emoticon, I would use it
Girl next to me just ralphed in a bag. Congrats class of 2010
I was mid-pee and he walked in, claimed he was looking for his phone, and then asked if we could hook up since we were finally alone.
so yall hooked up?
trying to imitate man vs food after 12 shots doesnt mean youll get laid
It was scary, we all screamed. Never make mimosas in a car.
I asked you how much you drank and you replied with "I don't know what kind of toothpaste I use."
did we decide the 'sorry about the threesome' cake was too flippant?
but we were going camping. it only made sense to bring the 6 ft bong
You told me you could hear my heartbeat through my penis but your methods were unethical.
Sixty five beats a minute. I stand by that.
I'm just trying to figure out the reason why humans wear socks....
She’s 47 and wants me to fuck her on her mom’s hospital bed
Randomize
