I have to look really hot tonight because my personality is going to suck.
just went home with some hot chick. she has posters of the jonas brothers in her room. i basically ran out of the house.
i am not allowed to pick the men i sleep with anymore
I have a drunk 6th sense to lyrics of songs i dont know. It only works when i dance..
Make good choices ;) This is your automated cockblock message
So not only did team sweden fail to particpate in any drinking game but i also found puke in my viking helmet this morning.
she trying to cartwheel up the stairs... not going so well
Your cousin just asked the bartender to start a round of vagina shots. Not body shots. Vagina shots. We're taking her out more often.
my night ended with a pity blow in a racecar bed
Need you on the dancefloor. Hungry and lonely.
We are trying to penis chicken awkward them out. But I think it's a gay wedding. Backfiring. Heavily.
We got really high and he took a green marker and made my vagina into a Christmas tree.
School supplies are right next to the margarita mix at target. Its a sign
Ummm so he didn't think I was serious about breaking up... Most awkward conversation ever
You stocked up?
No actually didn’t get a chance. If you wouldn’t mind bringing me a brownie and a bottle of Jameson that’d be nice
Randomize
