But i just feel like he will pull it out and ill panic. I mean its fairly basic. Up and down. But i feel like ill just freak out.
They only remember me when they're drunk...I'm like a suppressed memory.
I'm eating tomato paste and drinking banana juice that is expired. Can we please get groceries tonight?
She just looked at him and said "I'm gonna fuck that" and it totally worked.
let's remember the whole point of NYE: to drink antisocial amounts of antisocial drinks, become incoherent, ruin a carpet, talk to a tree, wake up with head sellotaped to toilet. The where/how is superfluous, my vote goes to a cupboard and a bottle of jaeger Questions?
Mid way while flirting with this super hot chick at the bar, he gets up and says no thanks I'm only 19 and gay just waiting for my buddy to hurry up and get with your friend.
I would let Bear Grills repel down a waterfall using my dick if I could go to sleep right now.
He's telling everyone that the only reason he's at this party is to hook up with me. SOS HELP.
At 27 it's no longer called 'slutty', it's called having a healthy sex life...
He just snapchatted me a picture of his cock. The angle makes it look like a freakin skyscraper. Thinking of photoshopping a little monkey on it.
Will you trust fall hold me, so I can pee of this building.
So far I consider it a great summer because I have had to buy Plan B a total of zero times
so the casino kicked my ass last night, i'm pretty sure i hit a new level of hungover....just showered with my sunglasses on because the bathroom light is too bright
Can u pick me up? Lost my keys.
Sure. FYI- you "lost" them on the roof, trying to throw them over the house.
I’ve developed a strange interest in ear wax removal vids on YouTube. Dear god, I need to get a job
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