he spit gasoline on a tiki torch to impress a girl. he caught on fire but did get laid. success.
I think we should start referring to bisexuals as "strays"
People with herpes should wear stickers.
And I wrote a rap so it was actually a productive afternoon minus not paying our bills.
when i was alone, his dick was there for me...
judging by the cake all over the hall, my neighbors had a pretty successful thursday too.
sometimes you just have to pull up your panties, blow a kiss to the security camera and walk out of the alley like nothing happened.
the cop didnt laugh with me when he patted me down and pulled out my flask.
I face planted right in front of a cop. He looked at me, shook his head, mumbled "freshman" under his breath, helped me up and told us to get home safely. I love college.
I am listening to lecture and I can hear us in the background talking about anal beads.
Solid. Can't put a price on good times
You can and it's called a liver.
I don't remember how I broke my nose last night, but I woke up with dried blood everywhere. Also, you should tell that guy how you feel.
alright well Taco Bell Closes at 12 so you better pray to god she's asleep by then or I'm running in your house butt ass naked with a bag of tacos
Seriously. If I'd known all it took was a 29 year old UPS guy to make me feel THIS SEXY, I'd have been fucking them for 30 years.
You could at least care enough to fake an orgasm for me.
Randomize
