so I woke up without pants, but my cardigan was still on and fully buttoned. curious.
did you seriously make the punch out of vodka and food coloring
Just gave some kid head in the library. Perfect way to end the semester.
I can't wait for round whatever # we're on tonight.
the kid throwing up and laying face down on the deck just asked ME if I'M okay...
I blacked out at the bar, and blcked in getting a handjob on a roller coaster. Sober me is jealous of drunk me.
Like it was the Mama Mia of shit shows. That bad.
they told me if I wanted to live here I had to get an ass tattoo and then they all mooned me simultaneously. ass tattoos as far as the eye could see.
Wait, tell the rest at happy hour. I wanna be able to interrupt you with my loud cackles and stupid questions.
He wore socks while I was giving him head. I couldn't even focus on his penis because of the socks.
he BROKE his KNEE while we were getting it on, called 911 and the ambulance that showed up contained two paramedics, ONE WAS HIS FUCKING SISTER!!! HOW IS THIS MY LIFE?!?!?!
Poor life choices...?
I love FaceTime, every time you ring me the morning after its like I went home with your one night stand too.
Go have a frustration cry and get over it
We need to know if his feet match his cock.
Gonna do a few lines then clean my room so I can feel like my life is somewhat in order.
Randomize
