You can't special order awesome
If i see another girl turn you down you should either turn gay or just kill yourself
Also I got A jello shot for $2!!! It's like the forever 21 of bars
protesters in toronto definately have the best pot
Let me just inform you of my purse contents right now. Three cum rags, a sock full of cum, xanax, and a fake moustache. This is my life.
you vomited through the snorkel and onto the back of your head. it was truly amazing
I am expending an amazing amount of energy to not throw up right now
Well, if he didn't want to get caught mid-gay experience by his girlfriend, he shouldn't have pushed so hard to do MDMA with me.
She's the worst person, but the best naked person
I don't question myself. That's what I have you for.
I'm honored.
I just text my one night stand Happy Easter on her way home...now would be a good time for the lord to smite me.
Omg I literally just wanna sleep with you right now. Like actual sleep. Not sex. Well maybe. But sleep first
Just once I'd like to go out and not have to tell you to put your pants back on.
Man, I'm never going tanning again he noticed the burns on my ass
Psssh like you wouldn't lick BBQ sauce off my nipples.
Randomize
