you fell asleep during kickboxing this morning
how does that even happen??
I start off june hungover/still drunk stumbling down my driveway with the trashcan at 6am..it's gonna be an interesting month
ashley and jimmy are about to have sex on degrassi.... EVERYONES GETTING LAID BUT ME
Farmville is her only friend.
Sex tip #67: Jizz in the eye is very near the equivalent to pepper spray. Not recommended for pleasure enhancement.
i feel sorry for the hotel staff that makes the bed after we have sex
I briefly wondered why they weren't in school, but after the tinier one shouted "check out dem titties!" I had my answer
he kept yelling THIS ISNT AMATEUR HOUR
You said eat breakfast. So i poured Baileys on top of m&m's. It taste just like like cereal I swear.
From what I hear, her blowjob factory was runninng at full capacity this weekend.
i just want to be sober by dinner like is that too much to ask
To be clear, the next time I wake up with your dick inside me, I will reach down and grab one and squeeze until it pops like a grape. You've been warned.
I'm here. Help me get the salsa and bong inside.
I've never seen anyone as high as you were.. you collapsed onto the kitchen floor hugging a tub of ice cream. You named it phil.
Dude, you spit in your shirt pocket saying "I'm saving it for later" then dove head first into the pyramid of beer cans we set up.
Randomize
