College reaches a new low. We just carved a shot glass out of a potatoe.
your dick doesn't do me any good in arizona
Just invented new drinking game watching Hocus Pocus... everytime they say "virgin" wetake a shot and yell out "to j****"
so i woke up.. still drunk and discovered my roommate in the living room passed out dick-in-hand watching porn..
What did u do?
turned the porn up and opened the windows so everybody goin to class could see him..
You weren't lying about those ceramics students giving the best hand jobs.
is it consensual if they're cheered on by a room filled with 30 people?
Someone is gonna learn how to start an IV in the morning
You're my spirit guide. This has to do with oatmeal cream pies.
I kinda remember trying to staple rolls of toilet paper to make a pillow, but it's blank after that.
he looks SO much like Drake, I feel like an extreme groupie every time we have sex.
HE'S BRINGING FRIED MAC AND CHEESE BITES. I GET FRIED MAC AND CHEESE AND SEX PEOPLE. BEST WEDNESDAY EVER.
I just shit a hot coal. Pretty sure it's that fireball shot from yesterday.
Bar selfie Saturday turned into bar nudie Saturday in a hurry. I need to delete my snapchat...
So today the police came to my dorm to look for weed, i didn't have any in the room, so i let them in. they apologized for any inconvenience and then left after finding nothing. then i realized i was wearing gauges with weed leaves on them lol
Mimosas make me so tired. I just ordered a huge thing of pasta and gonna eat it in my underwear like a bad bitch
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