If Ritalin and Plan B had an illegitimate child it would smell like me.
I misunderstood what a threesome is. Please come pick me up.
dunno man, last I saw him he bet me he could eat more ranch the me, then ran off
He just climbed off me and used my hairspray to fix his hair. If he hadn't just gone down on me I would think he's gay.
Just found an "inspected with pride" sticker on or around my vagina
We learned a lot about one another. I showed him around the town I grew up in and he informed me that he has had a threesome and killed a cat
So... Sorry I threw that watermelon at you the other day. I didn't think it would break any bones.
and i think wearing the clothes from last night are out of the question...was there mud wrestling there? because i look like a participated..with a cat.
Bartender at the wedding asked if he was making my drinks too strong. I laughed at him.
i thought i should point out that whatever else you can say about me, i've still gotten high with a midget.
Spotted: shirtless guy wearing cut-off hot shorts, 1 cowboy boot and a sombrero puking in a bush while his friend yelled 'stop being a bitch" from the sidewalk'. Happy 4th of July 'merica!
The date went significantly better after the fifth shot of fireball.
I'm really interested in the size of his penis so report back on that one
There is a huge naked guy in the kitchen with the boner of a lifetime and what I believe is an assault rifle casually resting on his shoulder.
I can’t tell if I have feelings for him or if my vagina does.
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