I don't think cute and don't forget to get tested belong in the same text
Okay, just a casual question: how did i manage to get grass stains on the inside of my bra?
The girl beside me at the laundromat is bitching a guy out on the phone for jizzing on her bedspread. She had to use a triple machine to wash it.
Btw, just wanna point out that you've hooked up with two guys whose birthdays are today. Congratulations, you have a type!
You face planted into a car door. And somehow didn't drop your burrito.
We broke into the space center. If i go to jail I wanted to tell you, you have a fantastic dick. Use it wisely.
Yeah I should probably start planning our first conversation instead of our first child.
Thanks for bailing me out last night guys. it's bullshit that everbeering people at bars is illegal. bitches have no sense of adventure anymore
You know our reunion in two weeks shall be a drunken bikini clad magical adventure right
A guy is going to be inside me and I'm gunna start singing "I am stuck on your penis, cause your penis is stuck in meeee!"
He only likes me when I'm naked and I don't like being around him clothed. It's the perfect relationship.
Ski vacations are for hooking up with randoms. It's like I don't even know you
There are many penises to be discovered and claimed tonight
We're like Lewis and Clark
I wish I had a clear image of the dude who was sucking on my tit outside the bar last night
Dude, my back STILL hurts from carrying the team on BP last night.
Randomize
