Don't cheat on me with the blonde bimbo religi freak
I wouldn't touch her with a ten foot pole
She's blonde
When we talk. Remind me of these topics, photoshop, my bday, threesomes, and cherekee indians. I swear these are real topics...
New topics to add when we talk, sweden, boxing, and the band journey
Um, that's called prostitution
Not if I leave it on the nightstand, then it's called cab money
I always see him when I'm wearing my ripped pants. I think its because of the hole in the crotch. My vag sends out supersonic "I'm horny" waves to him. Otherwise the calls are muffled.
Just watched my manager erase "we've been 2 days wo an accident" and change it to "0" these ppl are too high.
you asked a group of latinas stood by the bar to hold a minutes silence for ugly betty getting cancelled. that drunk.
The party theme was heirs and heiress's. Most guys came in polo shirts but he came as the "arch duke of vagina".
Putting a positive pregnancy test next to my condoms in my drawer so I remember why I always need to use condoms
Ugh..Yesterday was a complete alcohol fueled shit show. Not making eye contact with anyone today. Don't deserve it. Eye contact is for decent people.
U touched your head and and said "oh look blood" and then looked at me and touched my face... And said war paint
Can you send me the pictures of me riding the penis
That moment when you can't decide if you should vote for the random frat guy you have head to at the beginning of the semester for business and technology senator.
You're never gonna guess who's blood is on my shirt
Why do I feel like I really don't want to hear the end of this...
Is it sacrilegious to take tequila shots on Saint Patrick's day?
Which one have i been cheating ON and which one have i been cheating WITH if i met them the same night & have been dividing time equally?
Randomize
