the best things in life are free. have that freshly fucked look and doing the walk of shame by HIS girlfriend.....priceless
have you ever noticed that homeless people never have acne. suck it proactive
Made out with me girlfriend while she was peeing. all time high, or all time low?
i feel as if its time to shave my pubes but i should wait until before the party. nobody likes a sloppy drunk girl with a stubble-crotch.
story of my life.
My porch is a mess of peanut butter and tostitos...thanks for that.
The guatemalans kept making all these sexual suggestions ... With the corn
You asked her to play "the coma game" with you while hooking up, and then passed out in her bed. She couldn't wake you up so she slept on the floor.
Looks like I won that one
That idiot. I'll see him on campus and he'll try and touch me like we're friends or some shit. 1.you're ugly 2. You dropped the blunt in the pool
You know the cave of wonders in Aladdin? That's how I feel about his apartment. Except with blow and other treasures.
I warned you. Don't come crying to me when your vagina refuses to forgive you for this.
When I am this hungover I become increasingly grateful for having my own private office
One more sleep until playoffs, Canucks are back this year, you bet your ass I'm going to uphold the tradition of being the 90 lb girl that fights every hairy ass Bruins fan at BWW.
Hey, you can never be fully sure you're straight until you jerk off to gay porn
The moral of the story is this:the last shot of the night is always a mistake
I’ve got a lot of questions but the first one has to be where you got the flame thrower.
Randomize
