you know you've been playing too much mario kart when you see a curve in the road ahead and see yourself drifting around it
I think we should involve a squid next time we fuck.
u kno there is a reason i dont tell mi friends about u
How do you get a cum stain out of a trampoline?
What happened to the watermelon?
You fucked it.
Is your delayed response due to the massive amount of judging going on?
we ate a 40 pack of string cheese and watched an entire washing machine cycle.
Although, I did get to see a Raiders fan and his toothless girlfriend get roughed up by the police and dragged out of the stadium. So the night wasn't a total loss.
She's the second Ashley to meet and blow me in the same night. Sensing a trend.
Just your daily reminder that we're terrible people: the average number of men a woman sleeps with in their lifetime is 4
I'm gonna give him birthday punches. On the dick. With my mouth.
We should. Taco Bell definitely gives me the shits though.
It's girls night. No shame, just febreeze
After you puked in the bathtub you claimed you were never eating quesadillas again and you never even ate a quesadilla
You were holding onto her boobs like you were adrift at sea and they were the only flotation devices
While he was going down town Julie brown, I was eating French fries. True Love
can you bring the lube to algebra tomorrow
Randomize
