I hope you get the herp and dife. The emd.
Did you know that when you swallow it's like 60 calories!?
That's okay, it's all protein anyway.
You know, I really only think drinking is a problem if you're not good at it.
I legitimately sent him a storybook of naked pictures.
Just sit in your kitchen floor until something speaks to you.
She tried to escape and she fell and hit the door. She's gunna freak when she wakes up with only half a tooth.
Question: rebounding with your exboyfriend over your rebound guy is healthy right?
Just drank an entire bottle of champagne for lunch. It's gonna be that kind of semester.
I miss my brother. He would have fucked the fat girl for me.
I told you I would
I wouldnt do that to you. You're my actual friend
She told me about it right after. She said she was scared I would be disappointed. And I was, but I pretended not to be. Which pretty much sums up our relationship.
Just cleaned someone else's sperm off of my bedroom wall. Never throwing a house party again.
I just had a great idea for an etsy shop. Sell all the shit bitches leave from one nighters
Where are you in relation to the mariatchi band?
Only the sound of Friends and my gulping of wine are masking the sounds of my roommate getting laid
I'm really busy with my period
Randomize
