She made the grapes disappear! ALL OF THEM!!!
There is a girl in bio drinking beer out of a starbucks cup with a straw
Pretty much knew it was gonna be awful when the extra condoms she had from her ex were entirely too big for my dick
I feel like I should limit myself to one meal prepared from a box per day
who put toothpaste on EVERY doorknob in my house?!
thanks so much for stopping me from telling him i want to have sex with him while i proceeded to hookup with the air.
Oh my gosh they are following me around the bar
Blow your rape whistle
Need help. Super baked. Stuck on couch. Dying of thirst. Bring paint thinner or something to pry me off. Only thumbs and neck work.
Two hot shots of tequila for breakfast? Yeah today is gonna be a shit show
WHO JUST REMOVED THAT SAME BOARD IN TWO MINUTES FLAT WITH NO INJURIES, SHOES, SOCKS, OR BRA?! THIS BITCH. CRACKIN A BEER FOR DA SHOWA. BITCHES AIN'T SHIT MOTHAFUCKA
he's singing something in russian and knocking over my plants with his dick, get his drunk ass out of my apartment
HE STUCK IT IN THE FISHBOWL WTF
Also barcrawl friday. You ARE wearing a tiara
Idk if I should be worried or amused that my autocorrect changes the word STD to DTF.
I WANT TO JUMP IN TO A VOLCANO
His penis is average but his stamina is amazing!!! I didn’t know I had that many orgasms in my body!!!!
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