White coat. Heels.
i walked into his room and he was eskimo kissing his weed..
every single one of us blacked out. we woke up the next morning and it was like the night never happened. IT'S STILL A MYSTERY
How do I invite him to our 4th of July cookout without sounding too much like "hey you were my first orgasm and I want your dick inside my while watching fireworks"
24 hours later and my vagina is still tingling. That good.
You drank everything last night. It was like this huge deconstructed long island that went on for 5 hours
This is the most scared i've been of my hands since i did shrooms.
when I was too drunk to walk on my own two feet, he stole a shopping cart from the grocery store at the corner and proceeded to wheel me back to my apartment.
Then he tucked me in, gave me a goodnight kiss and slept on my sofa. I woke up this morning and he was making waffles.
he is a god among men.
i tied my phone to a string attached to my bra. i am NOT losing it tonight
Her four year old daughter walked up to me grabbed my junk and said "this will be in mommy later." Wtf?
THERES A BEAVER CHASING ME, ANGRY BEAVERS IS FUCKING REAL DUDE
There's a weed, money and oreo filled pinata promised for our party.
Yeah, sometimes it takes a while to realize, wow you kind of suck and not in the fun way
The underwear in the garbage is clean. Just wipe the pizza sauce off
Well it was okay until he pinned my arms over my head and I found the loaded pistol tucked behind the bed... THIS IS WHY WE DON'T FUCK BOYS IN MONTANA ANYMORE
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