Dude go to the top of pikes peak right now to catch Kevin Bacon's band performing
The bacon? Yeah right. What if there's Tremors?
Him and Burt have already taken care of that. It's a once in a lifetime chance to catch the Bacon brothers live in concert. I sort of have a boner
my roommate just said, "don't look at it, just put it iin your mouth"
Just watched Hilary Duff have a three-some on Gossip Girl...all I could imagine was that LIzzie Maguire cartoon girl freaking out above their heads
dude. how can brian from family drink at fucking bars? he's a dog and definitaly doesn't have pockets.
an unopened bag of salt and vinegar chips... probably the best thing I've ever found in my room while high.
I forgot how few teeth there are in this state...
Last awkward moment of 2011: your ex gf grinding on me in front of her husband.
No more drinking with Em. She was on the ground so much she looked like she belongs in a lifealert commercial
I'm not drinking anymore...and by that, I mean until St. Patrick's Day.
I just watched some guy take a shot of jack Daniels, chase it with a shot of ciroc & then violently rip his pants off. You have to come here.
Was he good-huge or like "what the fuck do i do with this"-huge
MY INSIDES ARE BASICALLY BEING WRUNG BY A CHAINSAW IM NEVER TAKING PLAN B AGAIN
You're wasting your dick. It needs to be bestowed upon the masses.
It's just not St. Patrick's Day until someone pukes on your panties.
I don't know if I'm more disturbed by the fact that you hooked up with a dude with one arm, or that "hook up with a dude with one arm" was on your bucket list.
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