And now I'm afraid that I'm a pornographic eater.
anal on a first date. tsk tsk.
I have glitter on my penis. Do you know anything about this?
i ate 2 chicken nuggets and puked out 5. that doesn't even make mathematical sense
Hey Operation Dumbo Drop... FYI, when you select your date this evening, our doorway is 3'x7'
Ask if he wants his tooth back. It's in the freezer. In the box of hotpockets.
Passive mediator is your role in this relationship. My role is dick punching arsonist
He has an intense fear that my cat will attack his balls while we're fucking
The Mole People would help. They are a kind, helpful people, the Mole People are.
Mole people?
Mole people
Oh, and apparently I was butt ass naked and walked into the room where anna was skyping her dude in afghanistan and said "This is happening."
I guess that's what I get for clicking on a link that says clown penis.
You cannot tell me you don't have a problem while crying pantsless on a stranger's sofa bed.
Not gonna lie: had to look up how to spell fellatio. Not sure I spelled it right even now. Looks like a Shakespearean character. ENTER FELLATIO, SOLILOQUIZING.
What does "mood AF" mean?
Mood as fuck.
Why did you comment that on a video of a gorilla throwing its own shit?
If I wanna spend the whole night tied up and getting railed I'm allowed to do so
Randomize