Should I shave my pubes in the shape of a top hat so I can nickname my junk Abe Lincoln?
He just laughed at his drink laid on the floor and crawled to the bathroom
I hope the dean has a raincoat on because I'm prolly gonna throw up on him when I get my degree
Last night he asked the cab driver "if you were in the middle of getting tattooed and the tattoo artist suddenly got a boner would you leave or would you get that boner??"
So he says "my girlfriends coming over so you have to leave but I love you"
Making a me burrito to ward off the cold...and the aloneness of my vagina
I've now spilled wine and got poptarts all over my cast. So much for my doc taking me seriously...
I'm getting drunk by myself again. But I'm not shotgunning any of them. That's self-restraint, right?
I told him he was like my favorite pair of jeans; I may not wear them every day, but I'll never get rid of them and they make my ass look fantastic. Needless to say he was not thrilled.
We stopped mid-sex and both shotgunned a beer then got back to it. Is this what love feels like?
I figured if he was OK cheating on his gf with a guy, he'd be OK with me posting his number to m4m Craigslist Ads
I asked for a cup of water. They gave me tequila. They WANT ME TO DIE
She acted like falling "up" the stairs was a fucking physics phenomenon. I call that Tuesday nights.
I have two choices: tits or tacos. I just can't decide.
it's okay that you two hooked up in the family bathroom at the mall.. i just pray to god you were not making a family in the family bathroom..
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