This old guy in denny's is sitting alone and he is looking at us and laughing for no reason
she told me she had a boyfriend but the alcohol told me she didn't
Minivans at bars can only lead to bad things.
you know that saying beer then liquer makes you sicker, it should be beer then pickles makes you throw up alot, everywhere.
I didn't think it was possible but there may actually be TOO MANY pictures of me tagged shotgunning.
In between when I last wrote and now have screwed a Swiss guy on a hostel bathroom floor. Okay, real life?
U should feel bad.. u r like a sex politician. All talk and no follow thru
It's disgusting. He breathes through his mouth and just sounds fat. Plus he chews all loud and shit.
my favorite sex position is the one where no sex actually happens we just get really stoned and eat a lot and watch netflix in the dark
Can you send me the pic of me puking with a quesadilla on my shoulder
She can't even plan ahead to have toilet paper for her next shit
I rewarded myself with Taco Bell tonight for going a full week without punching my roommates in the face or wishing bodily harm on them.
Woke up next to a half eaten Philly Cheesesteak. Honestly probably one of the top 3 things I've ever woken up next to.
You took the glass microwave plate and said it was the closest thing to a frisbee, let me know how that works out for you
The gift for sixth anniversary is steel. He bought me handcuffs. Inee I married the right man!
Randomize
