carls jr on main st. japanese tourist taking a dump in the urinal. reading a japanese newspaper and wearing a full suit.
be there in 3 mins
So he saw that playlist i made with his name as the title. i think he's creeped out that I have 106 songs that remind me of him
Is he smart?
Why would i know that. That would deal with the top half of his body. I only deal with the bottom half.
Am i fat?
Well i wouldnt let you on top
They all laughed at me when I bought that necklace from Life Alert. Who's laughing now?
Maybe we could get a groupon for vasectomy. I'm game.
Boys that pee in my bed don't get happy birthday wallposts on facebook
I swear the crows are laughing at me.
You my friend are stoned into submission
Just trying to get my dicks in a row.
In honor of today being Sunday I am day drinking and watching Grey's Anatomy all day. ALL DAY.
are you just sitting in your hotel room drinking popsicle vodka?
.....well anything sounds bad when you say it like THAT
The police report said "I asked the suspect if he had any identification. He replied yes and gave me a Pizza Hut gift card"
I got your flops too. But yeah you rolled off your raft a bunch of times so we had to ask the white trash squad to help you back on. You bit one of them
I encourage you to ignore feeling. Drinking more helps
I just let my boss bend me over his desk and spank me. I think that is some sort of American dream.
Randomize
