Let's hustle tonight so we can relax tomorrow
Perfect. Like where your heads at
By relax I mean have sex
She actually said during sex "the only thing that would make this more perfect is if we were listening to Lenny Kravitz"
So, obviously, you had to give a fake number this morning.
Yes. Also, we may never be able to go back to that bar again.
I know im too high when i think porn has an interesting story line.
She recited Pi throughout ever orgasm she had....she said it was a game she likes to play...how far she gets is how she judges her lovers...I am oddly turned on by this...
You were throwing ham at people telling them you were the sandwhich fairy
Even the bar was yelling boobs, so of course the shirt came off
Walking down the street at 11 pm dressed in bubble wrap. Why is the bar so fucking far away??
I AM OBSESSED WITH PORCHES. YOU ARE OBSESSED WITH PORCHES. HOW IS THIS REAL?
By the time the opening band finished, she was already slurring, coming on to the gay couple next to us, and waving her panties in the air.
So it turns out that my mom and her dad used to hook up when they were our age
Never been so glad that I look so much like my dad that there's no question as to my paternity
I just spilled a shot of Patron on your mom.. Body shots may be happening. You better get here quick.
All she said to me before going to get another shot was "Damn, I'd eat her out."
I WAS SURROUNDED BY HAIRY BALLS ALL ALONE.
Btw that $18 I gave you to run around outside naked came out of your wallet.
You walked right into the door. Even the door guy and security guys were laughing.
Randomize
