Best news ive heard all week. The cougars r coming! The cougars are coming!
Chicago was legit, ate some badass pizza and gave a cig to a crackhead..its all i thought it would be
Your fb status are always so intriguing.. Often make me picture you naked
Nick just found a baggie of 3 year old shrooms in his desk drawer and downed it all with cheap white wine. I am not on vomit duty tonight.
Just found out its our ciliated mucous membrane that traps the molly when we snort it. Biology does relate to life
all she had left on were here heels. phone five
I Know I'm the drunk girl in the trunk right now, BUT PLEASE LISTEN TO ME!
There was a guy on the elevator dressed as santa in flip-flops giving away beer.
This Alex the guy who suck your belly ring
Every time I'm hungover I just want to watch Harry Potter and cry.
First contact since we had sex and it's to get my HBO password. I sure pick winners huh
ITS THE CIIIIIIRCLE OF SLUUUUUUUTS
You kept licking me last night.... and said I tasted like jello. Next time, lay off the jello shots, okay?
But I’m still curious to know... how did the homemade porno go?
He just kept repeating "It was like meep meep meep on my balls."
Randomize