A moment of silence for all our pussy whips bro's who had to endure the NEW MOON premier!
For future reference, a lint roller appears to be the easiest way to get glitter out of a beard.
I wish I could attach your penis to someone I like more than you.
Champagne is a vitamin, right?
He's like a perfect storm of amazing hair and horrible judgment.
New level of stoned. My Terry's Chocolate Orange didn't 'whack-and-unwrap' so I ate it like an apple.
bah. we'll see. don't give yourself a boner of false hope.
I took "we live within stumbling distance of the bar" as an invitation and challenge
Yes... I'll kill two birds with one crazy ecstacy filled night.
Right now, there's some ten year old kid getting ready to go outside and play basketball. He will soon find out his basketball hoop was no match for my car.
Swish.
I woke wondering who the hell was in my bed. Then i felt boobs and remembered Haha. Thirsty Thursday killed my liver and my homosexuality
my mom tried to talk to me about my drinking, i somehow turned it around on her, now shes going to AA and I'm going to the bar.
I think all the guys I've fucked in my life would get along perfectly. They'd probably form an orchestra and travel the fucking world. That gives me the slightest feeling of consistency in life which is great.
They tricked me into going into that room by saying we'd smoke a bowl and then they all proceeded to have an intervention with me about my love life.
That's the only way to watch Gumby. Either age 5 or high.
Randomize
