Just crossed the line with my beat friends girl twinsie. Didn't realize tillz afta how much the look alike and an thougholy creeped out. Thanks ciroc
Taking my final with a coffee mug full of keystone... best semester ever.
i felt horrible..i wanted to somehow give him his vcard back
that's a non refundable transaction sweetheart
airport. 106 proof japanese liquor. 4 little travel size containers. im proud to be smarter than the average american.
You are forgiven. I sent you a picture of a pumpkin man as a gesture of reconciliation.
Why yes actually, getting stoned and reading an AARP magazine IS totally where I wanted my night to end!
He asked for a foot job. Whatever. I guess I'm swimming in new slut waters tonight.
Just remember my house smells of thick cut bacon and I have a big dick.
I think god invented us with two hands so we can grab an ass and spank it at the same time.
You asked me if I was judging you for being drunk, and if I can hypnotize you make sober.
The whorange rubbed off. His white shirt was so gross at the end of the night I told him to frame it.
You caught me at a bad time. I'm stoned enough that I'm ready to sleep but also not stoned enough that I wanna smoke again but also stoned enough to not wanna drive anywhere
She swallowed the key to the cuffs, I've been having to explain the pink fuzz all morning.
the hole that the tears left- fill it with pizza
All I need is a morbidly obese man masturbating at the other end of the car and I'll complete the CTA Horror Trifecta.
Randomize
