if he's not good at sex i should be allowed to have sex with someone who is. that's a totally legit statement i think
Just fyi NOT a good idea to drunkenly insert your NuvaRing after chopping jalepeno peppers
I can die happy now, I have been kicked out of strip clubs on six different continents
standing in the yard with no pants on waiting for google maps to come and take a picture.
I just remember telling jokes while vomitting
you were so high that you made a 14 page PowerPoint on why Santa would beat Peter pan in a fight.
and I must say, you were very persuasive
Did the game of beer pong go wrong before or after the cops and fire department showed up?
A man and his most likely hooker just bought us Taco Bell.
I woke up in an apt hallway this morning and a nice lady brought me coffee cause she thought I was homeless
well. can officially check "get caught having sex on the front porch by the neighbors" off the bucket list.
I'm drunk doing an ab workout. I can only hope I make it to bed tonight.
Pennsylvania now holds the distinct honor of being the third state I've crapped my pants in.
I just want a simple guy who likes cats, tattoos, and doing coke off my tits.
Dude I used amphetamines responsibly today though. I snorted one in the am for work and then chewed one in the pm for other work. I'm an adult.
The walk of shame was so much longer today. i have to start fucking guys in my own postcode.
Randomize
