shaved balls and baby powder=awesome
i told him i was sober and he walked away immediately.
So Delta doesn't take cash. I used my card to buy a drink and asked the attendant if she could leave it open.
I need to hang out with girls who make more mistakes
I gained confidence after I found out she was a lesbian. At least that way I could flirt with her and convince her to buy me taco bell after the bar
We were trying to sober you with hotdog buns but you refused put half of it in your bra and said you'd save it for later
I've done nothing but whore my gay ex bf out for the past 48 hours. It's getting weird.
I can't wait to go to grad school so I am not your high unemployed friend.
This morning my mouth tasted like fruit trees, battery acid, and magnums. Transferring schools was the best decision Ive ever made.
What the hell do you have that is more important than a GIANT WATER SLIDE?
First thing I find in the car I just pick up from my grandpa? A discount card for the strip club down the road from his apartment. The force is still strong.
I don't know if the fact that I carry lube in my purse means I'm living life right or I'm doing it wrong..
She had a baby Jesus butt plug
I just want him to go down on me while I eat a burger. Is that too much to ask?
what happened last night?!
you took a shot and then laid down on our kitchen table and passed out.. then when we tried to move you to the couch you screamed "no! i love tables"
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