Can i come over
After you called me a desperate slut? No
Come over
I want to touch your soul through your body...with my penis...
Mike i'm at church right now...
you are the weird ass hat to my lady gaga
No, the sea-green pills were klonopin, the bright blue ones are adderall. you're probably going to have to adjust your plans for the day.
she just gave me a present from you... on a stripper pole. in front of the whole club. :)
WHY ISNT THIS A PICTURE MESSAGE
We have a guy passed out in the bathroom with one of our pots. Not sure if he's your friend so I let him be
Just had a shirt made that says "I'm sorry" going to wear it every sat and sun morning for the foreseeable future
Just saw a guy with two baby turtles sneaking into the building
I just hooked up with the same bartender my dad cheated on my mom with in the 90s. Not sure how this makes me feel.
family traditions my good sir
I am thankful for thumbs.
Because without thumbs, we would be dolphins.
Land dolphins.
Just saw a dude take a shot in the parking lot in his car. Too early in the semester for that
YOU IS KIND. YOU IS SMART. YOU IS IMPORTANT. YOU IS CLEANING YOUR OWN VOMIT.
We are the rockettes of vaginal bleeding
What am I thankful for..I figured out I can drink on antibiotics without getting sick thanks to the power of pot gummies
as a self proclaimed hoe im ok with a lotta things but that is not fucking one of them
Randomize
