We made it safely. Thanks for the call though.
Great. Don't do shady things like that ok?
But he was like 75 and lives right near mom and dad. Not a threat at all.
I think call of duty has replaced my masturbating. And I'm alright with that.
I wish I could put booze in boobs and store it for later. I wouldn't need a flask. For $7000, they should do amazing things like that.
Responsibility does not care about your dick.
Dude. Hurry up. They just blessed the tequila.
I don't think he wanted to hear that my most serious relationship was my 1 1/2 year fuck buddy... I think he figured out that's where he's heading
she drove 3 hrs one way just to sleep with me. I felt bad complaining about paying for condoms.
This wedding is gonna be a disaster. I already had to turn down one of the groomsmen who offered me $100 to sleep with him next wknd.
Too low?
Yes.
you're right. i am beautiful. like a May day. frolicking in a meadow of wildflowers. platinum in one hand. pipe in the other. that kind of beautiful.
i fell out of the car and didnt spill my drink. come overrrr
truly a win in your book
Fuck you fireball...just straight up fuck out of here
I'm sitting here with a heating pad and a fan on me eating snow caps off of my boobs
I pelvic thrusted so hard while he was eating me out that his nose started bleeding. I think it's broken. Trophy scars, right?
My first hangover at work. I'm officially an adult.
He ate me out on the front lawn of the post office. The people in the office across the road definitely got a show!
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