not only are you not the girl i fell in love with, but from the looks of it, you ate her
he was like "finding out that arrested development was cancelled" bad
She got all mad because she said it was "unprofessional" to tell my manager to go fist herself.
Like if god were to send me a cock shot, that's what it would look like.
why the fuck would he compare you to sexy aquatic creatures?
please dont make me drink to the titanic soundtrack
worst part about day drinking... waking up to george lopez
They play video games, go on acid trips, and in times of need, are willing to donate plasma together. COUPLE OF THE YEAR.
I NEED to see if his girl has a sister.
My tits, and hanging out behind a hotel eating pizza.
THERE IS NOT ENOUGH CAPSLOCK IN THE HISTORY OF THE WORLD TO EXPRESS MY CURRENT STATE OF WHAT THE FUCK JUST HAPPENED
She brought me back a blanket from Mexico, then we had sex on it
We are such grown women, dealing with life's problems one shower beer and reckless makeout session at a time.
Come over so I can fuck you louder than her country music
He brought me another shot of rum, ice and my underwear when I woke up.
What a gentleman.
I KNOW, right?!
Must lick fork, like it's a DICK
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