Its 6am. Um if my mom for some reasons asks, you stopped by my house around ten and had some wine with me. She is concerned I drank a whole bottle by myself. Woke me at 6am to interrogate..Thank god my pounding head thinks fast.
PS We had chips too. She is less concerned about the whereabouts of the chips but still a good lie always needs detail.
I'm 99% sure that for 3 hours I thought you were British. We must smoke that again.
I'm in the dining hall. that same guy is here again, the one who sits alone and talks to his silverware.
I want him to get the hint. I sent 4 texts that only said "sex."
After he told me that it's up to him to carry on his family name, I almost felt bad for not letting him cum inside me.
I would say I am sorry for punching you last night, but I found the pictures you took on my camera and it all came rushing back.
Apparently campus cops frown on lighting a joint off of the eternal flame on Jerry Falwell's grave...
Nope, sorry. Already took my bra off. All down hill from here. My next act will be crying, singing, and eating girl scout cookies in the shower. You can come watch the shit show though.
show concern. Mark ate a butterfly and proceeded to drink more shots like nothing happened
Its not chugging if its just one gulp
He must have found my secret supply of blow and took a bump before we left the house. Rude.
He could of at least asked
well one of us has to be wrong and it's not going to be me
I just wish he'd leave so I can vomit in peace.
Bro i pulled the fucking willy wonkas gold ticket of ratchets the other night this chick was a real treat god bless her
I wish drug dealers had sales for the holidays
Randomize
