i puked in the mini-firdge
we don't have a mini-fridge?
bought one. it ws too cheap to pass up. xcept now there's puke in it,,, but the freezer's fine so i feel pretty good about that
if she shaves her mustache, i'll let her give me head
why is it that no matter what your novelty license plate says it always screams "im a huge tool"?
i don't have fun when you have fun. i have embarrassment, fear, and significantly less cash in my wallet.
I got "discovered a new religion high" last night
Passing out during sex is actually quite pleasant. its like being rocked to sleep with a penis
It's official, no more fat chicks or even close to that, my balls are 2 dimentional
Come over we're celebrating the one month anniversary of her first 4/20
We passed my parents while I was giving him road head...that awkward
All I could think about while he was going down on me was that his moustache reminded me that I want to try something new with my pubic hair.
I hate to stick you with the friend but I did all the work.
He's ready to settle down, whereas I'm like "More shots please"
Hey know anyone who wants 58 lbs of whole frozen chickens for a couple bowls?
Wanna get drunk and play candy land? If so you are 2 steps behind.
Quit bitching. I brought you a muffin.
Randomize