forget your mom, you can see her anytime. A one night stand only happens ONE night.
I hope to God it wasnt poon. That odor was unnatural, it was satanic pussy.
is it bad that the economy has gotten so bad that finding cheap gas gives me the same excitement and joy as finding a hot, blonde haired, blue eyed, tall, athletic single straight guy?
I'm not working tomorrow. need to take advantage of the last opportunity for weeks of morning sex.
If it was for sex do you really think i would asking for a mass vote? I'm like fidel castro when it comes to sex. No public approval needed.
So in our children's lit class, some jackass little boy had gone thru the where's waldo book and circled waldo. I realize you would have been that kid.
It was so good the neighbors even had a cigarette.
You claimed your dick was a divining rod, spun in a circle 3 times and walked into the bar you stopped in front of...consequently there was a bikini shoot going on
Definitely just found that pen in the microwave. What the fuck.
how did operation slutty penguin go?
pretty epic. there was a guy who was also dressed as a penguin. i asked him if he would keep my eggs warm while i went fishing for the winter
Please don't place wagers on my sex life unless you are giving me a cut. With my current sluttiness I feel like I deserve 40% for how much money you'll make
P.S. If you wake up before noon it still counts as morning sex
Well, she chose the fuckboy life or the life chose her. Not sure which one but either way I don't need that negativity in my life.
Vagina status: the swelling is going down.
FYI bail money is still in my drawer. I know you have no car but you need to know this for tomorrow.
Randomize
