She is totes cute on her twitter. Which totally sounds like a euphemism for coot.
May have just accidentally purchased an iphone on Kate's credit card. This has potential to be bad.
Just got my period. I'm not pregnant with Scott's child and I won't be having any sex tonight. This must be what they mean by bittersweet.
he came faster then a bring it on movie goes to dvd
i was gonna tell him a really embarassing story about you, but then i remembered im in all of them
There needs to be a newsfeed for phones... A list of all my drunken calls, texts, BBMs, new contacts, pictures sent AND received, all in chronological order.
I think a used vibrator from amazon.com is a great valentines day gift foe my ex.
just peed on the 7/11 floor and casually left. Omg so drunk
It's official. I am the girl who threw up in the library. Hangovers and midterms do not mix.
Sadly he is straight as an arrow that is designed by a robot computer from the future with lasers.
This saddens me. Mostly because I want to see the schematics on that robot.
I don't think he cares about your inhospitable uterus.
If he doesn't get here soon I'm taking off my thong and eating his dinner.
You know darned well I have a well-documented weakness for redheads, Subway and hand-drawn graphic novels.
New drinking game, drink every time Rhianna says "Work" in her new song.
holy shit! you were walking down a hill and just happened to be passing a trash can like 4 ft away and projectile vomited over a fence into the trash can. kept walking and drank a beer.
Randomize
