You sent me a text calling me "cunt" while i was in the middle of dumping my bf.
So we're fucking tonight?
So I went out tonight...met a guy who slightly resembled my dad,huge creeper, he asked me to "hang out" so I gave him my moms number since he was more her type:)
Climbing onto the roof in a dress and high heeled boots was probably not the best idea, especially after all that Bacardi.
She keeps stunt undies in her bag, 2 sizes too small. She leaves them behind so the guy thinks he was luckier than he was...
Registered sex offender is the model in class today.... There are too many things wrong with him getting naked in front of a lot of college students.
It's gay softball weekend. Lots of hot gay strangers to go home with.
Dude! I just figured out I can successfully hide a 4oz flask between my boobs without endangering my cleavage! College: conquered!
There's no way I'm ready for marriage. I have too many pics of other guys' junk on my phone for an eternal commitment right now.
I'm not sure we can use safewords tho. She smokes so much she had to keep asking what the safewords was. Bondage and bongs don't mix
hes that one kid that offered to spoon after staring at me for 5 minutes
They got mad when I cut the pizza with an x-acto knife. Oh well, more for me then.
I wore heels to a golf store in hopes of getting laid. I've hit a new all time low.
Is banging someone in the national guard considered a state service or a national one?
Masturbating to death wouldn't be a terrible way to go. If you die tonight, I'll know how it went down. Promise not to tell your family.
I'm sorry my shit is everywhere... I accidentally got drunk while packing
Randomize
