her nipple to breast ratio was just odd
If a girl is wearing Ed Hardy from head to toe, does that make her a douchebagette?
o shit let me call u back theres a hamburger in my pocket
I almost got runover on the sidewalk by a car but wen it got closer it was a crackhead walking with the whole front of a car... bumper, lights and all... I love New York.
the trash is collected at 5:50 on mondays. i was up puking all night and heard them
Dude, we totally smoked up inside a church organ last night. Add this to the epic list.
she left out the fact that she had a kid until she told me not to suck on her tits too hard or milk would come out.
Not even close. I woke up in the bed of Codys truck. Wrapped up in a sleeping bed, using a stuffed alligator as a pillow. And Alex was laying naked beside me. Not to mention I wasn't wearing the clothes I got there in.
In reality u ask do u have beer at your house but what your really saying is will there be cock in my mouth
Way to ruin everything
I am drinking jager with a cat, your argument is invalid
I'm happily sitting on the toilet cause I'm too tired to move. I'm considering making this my permanent residence. It has a lot to offer.
I finished masturbating now I'm eating french toast crunch. What is life, and what are friends.
Literally I can feel my heart beat in my vagina because of how sore I am
She was wearing American flag underwear. How could I NOT fuck her?
You're a true patriot.
Found your brother. He was passed out in the tub holding a bottle of Shatto milk wearing nothing but his tighty-whities.
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