Skipping work because i'm still too drunk from last night still. got home at midnight and passed out in front of my door for 2 hours bc i couldn't find my key
had to call my rooommate to let us in. Passed out in my dress and found the key on my hair tie-in my hair- just now.
They should really pass out barf bags in church
I wish I had a frozen water bed.
best. idea. ever.
You kept tellin the cashier that this order was "To Go" over and over...even tho we were in the drive-thru
Just sit in your kitchen floor until something speaks to you.
You "were" hungover, which is past tense. So that gives you no excuse not to go out tonight.
Really? How much of his life do you think he remembers? I'm pretty sure 75% of it qualifies as "kind of a blur".
I walked out of the store holding my face and a lady pulled her daughter away from me as I then threwup in the parking lot
My first drink last night was a 2-liter of jameson and coke. So hung over it hurt to put my pants back on
No we just stood in the kitchen and laughed for 2 hours about how funny the popcorn noise was.
Virginity is like the pottery barn-you break it, you bought it.
Thanks....I've always wanted my vagina compared to an overpriced coffee table
The beer shits the day after completing the World Beer Tour at Epcot are just as epic as the tour itself.
The profile of her ass is just unreal. Weird way to use profile I know, but never more accurate
You can't just say you're dying of terminal cancer everytime they try to card you
I thought one was bad but really there are two woman stupid enough to marry our brother...unreal
Randomize
