you kept telling us that in dog beers you only had one
Please tell me I did not ask the bartender how big his dick was.
I just had to MC for a middle school event with jizz on my dress. I'm going to hell.
when you wake up try not to move. we are betting to see if more sprinkles stuck to you or the pong table.
It was sunday, you had a camel back of bloody mary stumbling around a dog park with no dog.
I sexy timed too hard and there is an ass shaped piece of a ping pong table now missing bc of it. How am I allowed to leave the house without a helmet?
Bro that's the last time I try to stick my penis in a bowl of jello. I can't believe your sister ate that, did she not see my dick mold
Either you got hacked or we need to have a serious discussion about sending penis enlargement emails to your straight friends and why you shouldn't. It sends the wrong message.
Sometimes I just want to kiss you without you pulling ur cock out and waving it at me
When i was tripping hard i was banging Jeff's roommate and her room turned into Hogwarts
Also when we were banging i thought my high school librarian was perched up on top of the stereo like a gargoyle but it ended up just being her cat
I just bought a butt plug on Amazon prime day and you're the only person I felt would appreciate that decision
Hey buddy, turns out those were the PB&shroomwiches, soooo you may want to reconsider dinner with your girlfriends family tonight...
he told me that I'm basically going to be the mom of the house when they move in...i like to see it as being a MILF without the responsibility of real children
we can no longer cook chicken in the house. his name is herbert, we are keeping him and can not eat his people in front of him.
This is why I love being gay. I could never afford that much birth control.
Randomize
