LETS GET FUCKED UP IN ONESIES TONIGHT.
I worry about you sometimes...
Your sister got a Brazilian yesterday. It looks great
Sarah Palin just got hired for Fox News. Watch out Jersey Shore... there's a new drinking game in town
I made out with Jen. We were naked. I'm still gay. Forever
This is part your fault too. Don't tell me your dishes are unbreakable and not expect me to prove you wrong.
Oh, I forgot to ask if u have any idea what happened to the back of my ear and if u were present when I almost fell off the roof...
The lady next to me at the airport just baggage checked a six pack. She is now my hero.
I'm sure we could make a ball of yarn and a nickel into a drinking game
"I gave a guy a handjob last night, on a dog bed, inside a fireplace. It's going to be a good year."
Ok ladies its the usual spring break system. 5 for a guy, 10 for a non-lesbian girl and double points is its a group thing. Hottest guy of the day is an additional 15. GAME ON
I'm just waiting til he drunkenly pisses in his new man's car the way he always whipped it out and went Bellagio in mine.
Dude you better come get your girl, she's sitting here eating a tub of pasta salad muttering to herself about gypsies.
New Serial podcast is out. We can listen to it tonight instead of having sex.
There might be a dead possum in your bed, your roomate is extremely distressed!
if I hear Wonderful Christmastime one more time I'm putting my foot up Paul McCartney's ass.
Randomize
