i mean you're really good at taking the morning after pill...so you could put that on your resume..
yeah, i think fast in a bad sitatuion and am able to react with appropriate measures
is it bad if i hope guys are like edward cullen and can read my mind. i could be a whore in disguise.
Sooo, his balls are like... bigger than my head...
I just threw up while getting a haircut. I'm never trying to accomplish stuff with a hangover again.
then he compared my vagina to a dishwasher. A DISHWASHER?!
Europe's "the final countdown" was playing. It was pretty much amnesty for anything that might happen the rest of the night. It's a rule.
At what point would you like us to save you from yourself?
How drunk is she?
She's trying to French braid the dogs hair, there's no stopping her
She invited me to Bikini Yoga with her friends. Sounds promising.
There comes a point, as I lay on the floor of the work disabled toilets contemplating catching 10 minutes sleep between chunders, that I wonder if its really worth it
He fed me Girl Scout cookies while I was still tied up...what did I do right?
you're like an angel sent from heaven to guide my sex life into greatness
Thats so sweet
Someone keeps hanging up bible verse posters in the bathroom stall I masturbate in at work.
It finally happened. Some guy just tried to catfish me with my own dick pic. Of course I told him that it was the hottest dick I'd ever seen and that I would do anything for that particular dick.
he went down on me and a few minutes later he asked to show me a magic trick. then he pulled a quarter out of my vagina
Randomize
