Paddidles count extra in the back of a cop car
nyquil sex gave me 6 orgasms so I support that
we walked in to her beating him with a broom while he was trying to sweep ramen into a box. there were packing peanuts everywhere.
Interesting preview of what next year will be like. Side note, missing a chunk of flesh from my middle finger.
You were sad because he was "taking it out on the plant"
at that time a 4 pound meatball stuffed with pizza rolls seemed more important than bailing you out of jail.... sorry.
I used the lotion his mom gave me for christmas to give him a hand job. It felt so wrong.
We shaved off his eyebrows I'm pretty sure his fiance will be thrilled at the wedding
I was galloping around pretending to give birth to pbrs. I could have used a mask.
I think I have a bro crush.. When I imagine him, I imagine him waking up to go take a shower and just finding three bitches making out waiting for him. Like that awesome.
We just got home a lil bit ago. No sorority girls showed except the ugly swimmer chick and she asked if I've ever faked an orgasm.
I just want to sit my fat ass down at McDonald's and never leave
He asked me how flexible I was and all I could think about was that time I threw my back out putting in a tampon.
WHY HAVE SO MANY THING GONE IN MY BUTT ON THIS TRIP
Yeah, we got drunk and stole road signs.
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