Lets go to the mall and pick up some fat chicks and take them out tonight so we can be the skinny friends
They made my facebook status "I got my period!!!." Every guy I've had sex with at college liked it.
i have one hour to talk myself into enjoying giving him a blow job when i get home
I now realize that they made gum to take the taste of dick out of your mouth.
I'm sorry I kept calling last night when you wouldn't pick up. I'm REALLY sorry I sang "You Oughta Know" on more than 4 voice mails.
She just cut the six pack plastic up and screamed "save the dolphins"..she also threw away cans of tuna. I like this girl.
I feel strange, like something is off with my body
Yeah that's called sobering up, we've been drunk for the past 4 days
So who won the naked front yard Olympics last night?
Well my tits are spray painted gold & i have what i think r the Olympic rings shaved in my vag !!!!!!!SO its safe to say i won something ....
I got really high and googled the history of Amish people for like an hour.
Feels like someone put a cigar out where my butthole used to live
And then he said "if you were planning on bird feeding me that's not ok"
How is it that I've hooked up with not one but two guys in the children's section of a bookstore tonight?
You just kept stroking his beard and thinking aloud that you wanted to rub your face all over it.
I'm not sure. But he has a pet sugar glider. So, points either way
As long as that's not his name for his dick.
Yeah we've been texting but I don't know how to just randomly throw in sooo the real reason this is happening is because i hear you're a drug dealer
Randomize
