Braces and a neon one piece. She looks 15.
i'm in love
found some acid from a couple months ago while looking through christmas lights. Looks like santa came early this year.
There is a half eaten corn dog and soy sauce on the counter... WTF did you eat last night??
I like to melt taper candles in my wine bottles the next day, it makes my drinking trophies more classy, and makes me look like less of an alcoholic.
Thanks for sticking it out with old horseface last night... I owe you one buddy.
MAYDAY. glass in foot, have crush on guy with mullet.life is over.
She licked my face when I was on the phone with a customer and I just laughed. Im not sure if thats good or bad
Roommate is hosting a 'sorority retreat' at our house. If you need to get laid, stumble on over.
I had to write an apology letter to my roomate for hotboxing in our bathroom. What a bitch.
Just walked in and got handed a drink. Good service
I'm honestly just now recovering from saint Patrick's day.
I called 911 when they kicked me out of the bar last night.
Unintionally got shitfaced at study group this week. The waitress brought out a fishbowl of long Island iced tea. Challenge accepted.
So you can now add nose to my list of places that cum has gone that it shouldn't...
I don't know why this person would ask for help. It sounds pretty OK to me. Also, I'd steal those bagpipes.
Randomize
