I'm seriously so bored I'm seeing how many rooms I can masturbate in before I get caught.
Four. Poor grandma...
Its sad we have to plan out fun a month in advance. 30 sucks.
Every morning i wake up and check his twitter like a horoscope
I think if it were a part of everyone's daily routine, the world would be happier. International Finger Yourself While Bathing Day.
We found him wrapped up in a giant table umbrella in the bathroom.
You just kept stroking his beard and thinking aloud that you wanted to rub your face all over it.
Remember when you walked in on me sleeping INSIDE a pillowcase?
I just want to be like i dont know you but ive seen your penis & i like it
I have really important information for you regarding the furry convention this weekend
That was the second worst thing to happen to my asshole.
Welcome to Missouri, the show me your genitals state.
If a clean cut ginger with a flannel and tattoos shows up at the apartment, he is allowed inside.
my grocery cart consisted of hershey bars, sour patch kids, starbursts, mayo, 4 frozen pizzas, 4 lunchables, and chips. clearly, i can't do this on my own.
I have bruises everywhere an I broke the lamp. So ya I'd considerate rough sex.
You’re better off without him. Actually, he’s better off without you and that’s what really matters
Randomize
