Dude wtf I'm sitting behind some girl in class who is creeping on my facebook page. I don't even know who she is..
chipotle is closed for thanksgiving... I am officially thankful for NOTHING.
Who the hell brings a 6pack to a party. I'm trying to make mistakes.
I need a second opinion on who's blood is in my car.
He was carrying a rolled up carpet saying he was saving it for tomorrow's Walk of Fame.
We had to coat check the pizza.
The nursing school interview showed me a picture of my passed out during your party. They asked if this was a frquent thing. I told them you drugged me.
I just want to meet whoever runs the hall cameras
hahahaha I don't. Watch one day i'll be walking along and someone will stop me and say "oh you're that one girl who is out. of. control." But then they'd probably give me a high five.
damnit. I just found my cousin on tinder.
I just watched this dude try to convince this girl to go home with him. She was like, That's cute, you're cute.and she just walked away. Man I'm so not drunk enough to be around this level of sad.
You were drunk at 5 You went to the dining hall and cried because your brain and fingers weren't working. Your RA came up to you and suddenly you became sober. I was very proud of you.
Many a woman has been in tears over the passing of my penis' whorish ways.
when you wake up naked in a bed with glowsticks, a rolled ankle, a hangover, and a condom; alone. you wonder shit
I broke a rule
Which One?!
The one where I shouldn't sleep with your friends. I broke this particular rule 4 times.
You're officially the worst brother ever.
she stuffed her marc jacobs purse full of cereal
classy
Randomize
