Whiskey dick.
Yea dude! Love it. Hate it. Have it.
Everyday of my life.
Well how sick are u. Ive got a good immune system.
so...dinner was kid's cuisine and a bottle of wine. i think they go well together.
There's nothing more uncomfortable than drifting into sexual fantasies on a roadtrip and realizing you have a boner with three other dudes in the car.
I am going to get arrested. I am yelling fuck repeatedly, wearing a Bird jersey and polka dot pants while pounding wine. Amazing mug shot to follow.
My doctor literally wrote on the script NO SEX
I'm okay.. I had a good heart to heart with the cab driver Raheem - it's going to be our year.
she sent me pictures of 3 different vaginas and if I could pick which one was hers i could sleep with her.
I was always good at matching as a child.
So was I the only one that was competing in the whale hunt?
apparently my buddy was fucking on our couch downstairs so i decided it was necessary to walk downstairs naked in a hockey mask.
I never realized how weird our shower smells until I cracked a shower beer and had a familiar aroma to compare it to.
Learn from my mistakes. DO NOT try to steam a garment of clothing while you are wearing it. The burn is not worth the de-wrinkle.
We're starting to light shit on fire, bring a metal bucket. Be prepared, Jimmy's off his meds.
Once again I let my vagina make the decisions...that and vodka :(
Oh man. I threw up in the first cab. Got kicked out. Roamed somewhere for awhile. Fell asleep in the back if the second cab. Woke up in my underwear on the living room floor with a frozen pizza (thawed) laying next to me
Randomize
