i learned of a new sex move called the pterodactyl. 3 guys stand in a row. 1 girl blows the one in the middle while jerking off the other two. kids these days!
Yaeh! Back in our day we had to wait our turn for some party whore to blow us!
well there you go. the average partycunt evolved into megapartycunt just like scientists predicted.
I don't even know why I got my vag waxed
Ugh, tell me about it. As each day passes and the hair grows more, I get a little more depressed.
I just found out my birth date is Pick Your Poison Day. Goodbye, conscience, forever. I was born to live like this.
Hey welcome to Rick's drunk text tree. Rick is drunk right now please respond with "shut up" to remove your name from this list. Thanks for playing.
The fact that you think you peed off a roof shows you shouldn't have been on a roof.
i proceeded to stick my hands in his pants while he continued to repeat i have a girlfriend
At some point last night Lemondrops turned into me doing shots of vodka and eating sugar packets at the bar.
I wish I could like. Pull my liver out, and put it in the corner of a boxing ring, put a towel and ice on it, rub it's shoulders, and tell it to "get back in there, you got this!".
I asked her to make me water, which in turn meant get me a glass. She handed me a cup of microwaved ice cubes.
I am more familiar with your toilet than I ever want to be with any appliance
Yeah I figured you were blackout when you were Shakira dancing on the floor.
he stopped talking to me, quit his job, moved out of the province and then told me it was "no big" when I called him apologizing...
I am never drinking with the goths again.
I need to stop acting like a porn star that isn't getting paid
Was make out with a 38 year old lesbian on our bucket list? if it was you can go ahead and cross that one off.
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