my periods are so regular now that they are sync-ed with my subscriptions of vogue.
I woke up this morning naked, with a to-go box from Qdoba, an entire meal completely untouched. I have been piecing together my night to find some answers. I feel like Nancy Drew.
I used the word aforementioned in my paper. That's an automatic A in community college.
It's refreshing to see you in something that is stained with something other than vomit and spilled alcohol.
An accidental pregnancy to a guy with a trustfund is no mistake. It is a gift from god.
All I remember is apologizing to his sister for being a bad influence while I was throwing up into a big gulp cup.
My neighbors are outside blasting Hootie and the Blowfish while drunkenly hitting a stump with a hammer. I could get used to this.
For the first time ever I'll be using my lunch break to pass out cold on my desk. We've gotta stop having these late night drinking things on Sundays
Had sex and ran 2.8 miles all before 7:30am. This is going to be a very productive Monday.
Ideas I've had tonight: An entire movie based off the Pixar lamp jumping on stuff.
I was just wicked nice to a telemarketer... that's how stoned this woman got me.
I found her outside drinking steak sauce out of the bottle.
You know the sex was rough when you wake up with a chipped tooth. I have no regrets
just walked passed a black light...apparently he DID cum.
What?? I could've slept with an ordained minister!
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