Also my back is semi rug burned and I'm holding you fully responsible.
I would love to give you more rug burn
STOP fucking him and come play in the snow with us!
I briefly wondered why they weren't in school, but after the tinier one shouted "check out dem titties!" I had my answer
I just had a flashback of me saying "I'm not ready to be a deadbeat mom" lastnight.
She kept biting his ear when he was talking to people, that was only 3 drinks in...
Apparently there was a point in the night that they literally thought he was dead, ass naked on the floor. That bad.
Did you get my bra back of the bartender?
I seriously think we need to revision your idea of 'keeping a low profile'
You kept showing the cop the bruises on the bottoms of your feet and claiming you were a medical mystery.
Thanks for letting me use your ID, there's $120 along with your ID in the mail to cover the Urinating in public fine I got last night....sorry
Try not to get arrested for it, but otherwise i support you
He's CUTE. and foreign
max decided it would be a good idea to run down the hall and smack down the exit sign. now we are sitting in the emergency room, and he is wearing the sign as a bracelet
Well if you don't want to be kicked out before last call don't I would suggest stop drinking whiskey and don't call the giant bouncer with the neck tattoo "princess"
If my birthday doesn't end with my panties hanging from a ceiling fan, I'm holding you responsible.
not that im pissed, but why are there two naked chicks in my bed?
Must lick fork, like it's a DICK
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