i cant finish this easy-mac because i need it for a chaser.
Theres also beggin' strips and a dog bone in the corner...nooo signs of there being a dog though.
She started licking your face, then you turned to me and said "I guess thats my cue", and you proceeded to hook up with her.
Stripper pole. Sore legs. More vaca money.
I don't think you understand. Its the best fauxhawk you've ever seen. I look like a gay dinosaur.
That's the most beautiful thing I've ever heard. Can I call you littlefoot?
i'll probably be on drugs forewarning
forewarning i'll probably have done those drugs with you
I hate it when the guy who runs the chicken and waffles truck is convinced that I run a cult.
that is the opposite of a normal text message.
New year means new boundaries for the Brazilian lady.. I'm pretty sure I got wax on my asshole
That's why we don't trade sex for Taco Bell. It's called the dollar menu.
I HAVE A GENTLEMANLY VAGINA.
I stopped him mid keg stand to show him how cute my bra was...
...I watched him run on the beach yesterday and I think I started ovulating
I have no reason to put on pants anymore. This is my new reality.
I pay 3K a month for rent, yet last nite I broke into the back of my building, scaled over 2 tons of garbage in heels and took a dirty freight elevator to my floor just so my doorman wouldn't see how fucked up I was
U know ur prob on camera right?
you know my pussy doesn't know between good and evil
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