Right on... I dropped my chapstick
I blacked out
so he was shitfaced and kept using sticky notes to label everything like "beer spill" and "going to fuck later"
Stalkers don't have time for showers...it's a full time job
While we were having sex he told me "this is what you get for not parking my car right" I have never drove his car. He was that kind of weird.
Soup is not an acceptable meal before doing that many Jager bombs
I think I left my camera at your house. It would be in both of our best interests if you don't go through the pics.
Walking in to my alcoholic Assessment meeting with a black eye = 40% awkward 60% awesome
I learned something last night. Strippers can be on house arrest?
I remember looking at his body and thinking wow you have a body sculpted by Jesus himself. Still not sure if I said that out loud or not
I vaguely remember making out with some dude. Please tell me he had all of his teeth.
I don't care. She's the only girl to make me feel like my face is melting when she blows me.
yeah i ran into him at the bar at 11pm. he started talking about engineering and the next thing i know it's 4am and i'm naked on top of him.
Look idk the rules and regulations of our freindship...but I need you to carry me to my car.
If history is any guide, his morals are no match for my tits
Drinking is such a hassle. I wish I could just press a button and be drunk.
Randomize
