Were we dating when my roommates and I had the 'everyone gets laid' part?
Ya
I used to kick so much ass
operation harelip BJ is a go
I sharted during my first quiz and I couldn't leave, I went ahead and took the rest of the day off.
just opened a can of spagetti o's with a butter knife. the things u will do for food when ur stoned.
Found her laying down in a booth in iHop. She's a keeper.
You coming bye my yot got egg sweet carilne vodklaa
I wasn't going to take him home until I heard "hung like a water buffalo" then curiosity got the best of me.
You need to simmer down or I'm going to buy you a labia leash.
I concluded last night that you have no tear ducts, heart, or sense of any feeling.
Its a first. Never been peed on in a line to concert. First time for everything.
She kept telling me it was a squirtgun.
I think he's hit rock bottom. You know it's a low point in life when you cry because you weren't invited to sit in a box car and watch porn with two other straight dudes.
I can't thank you enough for the well-timed blowjob. What a huge improvement in my outlook on the day.
Alright if I email the police department asking for my mug shot do you think they will email it to me
Normal people find beers in their gym bag, right?
Yeah, we got drunk and stole road signs.
Randomize
