VAGINAS EVERYWHERE
they're staring at me
The best time of year to be high is WHEN THE KING CAKES ARE HALF OFF BECAUSE MARDI GRAS IS OVER YEEEEEEEEEEEEAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHH
At least he could have found a MILF, she's a dbl bagger. No wonder he goes to counseling.
Yeah..you can't spell Prozac without Zac(h).
Just did a keg stand the dropped my phone in the toilet. Sorry for partying.
You did a keg stand on the toilet?!
Just stared at a tree for a solid 5 minutes because I thought a German Shepard was perched on a limb.
I'm on a treadmill at the gym ordering pizza on my phone so it'll get to my house around the time I get home. I NEED HELP. Or I'm a genius. I haven't decided.
We're eating jello shots in the library. I love the day after Valentine's
I seriously need to grocery shop. I have a slice of cheese, and alcohol.
apparently I like to do this thing where I wear pretty dresses and then pee on things on public. Picture proof. Four times last week.
I just need some breakup sex yanno like filthy wish fulfilling breakup sex to make me forget what I never had
I wish you could just Google "people I've had sex with" and they would all just come up
*6am blends another margarita* *615am blends straight tequila*
Do you know this guy sitting in front of us? Asking for my vagina.
I just do things that aren't classy the classy way.
You date? I thought you just hooked up with your TAs
Randomize
