I'm pretty sure that he just gave me the ginger disease
why did i save someone in my phone as corn dildo?
all the douches that like ed hardy are the same douches that were obsessed with lisa frank
Ive had to apologize to every girl i know today because of you
I may or may not have just visibly given him head in front of three young children and their mom. They all looked mortified.
I think we should make a list of challenges so that when stuff like that happens, we can check it off. Like a scavenger hunt for hoes.
Some creeps at the festival started talking to me, so I told them I was going change my tampon. Worked like a charm.
Have you ever seen a porn where they were playing bluegrass in the background?
5th glass of wine. There's pictures of Jesus everywhere. It's like you're constantly reminded of your sins here.
At some point last night Lemondrops turned into me doing shots of vodka and eating sugar packets at the bar.
nah we got kicked outta the bar after the bouncer saw us putting straws up Chelsea's nose to make her look like a walrus after she fell asleep at the table
I just wrote a love letter to my weed and texted it to my cousin. I can't say it any differently. It happened.
I figured it out! The supermoon explains how I managed to have sex with 3 dudes in 3 nights without leaving the apartment.
Is it possible to be sexually attracted to someone's hair?
How are you supposed to wish the guy you send nudes to good luck for the first day of his new job??
Watching Colbert Report and porn at the same time.
Randomize
