maybe i would like her more if 99% of her sentences didn't start with "yesterday when i was reading twilight..."
We'll cross that bridge when we come to it... Or burn it. Either way we'll deal with it later
According to last night if you on the sidewalk at 12 a|m\nYour a WHORE !
Come downstairs. Moms serving wine for breakfast again.
It's just one of those nights that , as long as you have the drugs, everything is going to be alright.
We're walking, taxis are a waste of money that can be spent on alcohol.
Nice just gets you lonely or dead. I don't like those options.
Is it bad that i wanna bang this girl ONLY because she looks like my cousin?
Walked back to my room from the bus last night and all I see is 3 of my friends on the porch chugging whiskey and then throwing up in unison
Oh no, we smoked the revival weed. It came in a Batman bag. It hit like justice. And orphans.
If you don't wanna wax my ass just say so.
Did my roommate wake up in your girlfriend's apartment in drag again?
You should frame my arrest warrant.
Nah, I was done when the Big Pun lookalike began to sob and tell me I looked like his ex...
It feels like heartburn in my lungs. I'll buy 2 pounds.
Randomize
