Yea, forget your mom. She will be home after her one night stand.
so this rather large man keeps buying us drinks.......then he licked my face....i dont really care though because the drinks are good. Is this bad?
she pooped in my shower. pooped. woke me up and said she thought she farted but it wasnt a fart i went back 2 sleep and found it hours later. no longer hooking up w chicks my moms age.
told my boyfriend i was a virgin so he wouldnt feel bad since he is. now hes asking why his dick is so itchy. should i tell him why?
i don't see why you should, it's not like you told the other guys with the itchy dicks.
I brought up my Bobbly Flay drinking game in the interview. Of course I got the job.
everything was going well until edgar threatened to handcuff the security guard to himself.
Who is he, asking me if im dtf without a question mark
...
Went to the doctor's today. The lady took one look at my throat and said "oh god"
Too much penis in there.
Man, I want to make his penis a sandwich.
Drunk enough that you donated $50 to taco bell, because they serve a great purpose.
So, settle a debate for my housemates. Have you measured your dick. And how long. Results Will not be disclosed
We watched game of thrones, broke up and I drove away blasting ridin solo while he dougied
The night went downhill when he took his pants off at our table and walked up to women saying "Special delivery"
I made a booty call at 3:30 am on a Monday... I think I just became the ultimate female fuckboy. I don't know whether to be ashamed or get myself a trophy.
beggars cant be choosers....im desperate and he has a dick. he checks all the boxes.
Randomize
