im officially scared..,i finally realized who my boyfriend reminds me of! spencer pratt
there is a polo shirt epidemic at this bar. also, im pretty sure i just saw the grown-up coppertone baby
Oh and discovery of the day is it's the channel, not the time on your cable box. Thought it was 2:16 for 4 hours
story update. I'm locked out of my house. Walk of shame advisory extended...
And then you'll find yourself a hot chick and leave me behind with nothing but my back fat to keep me company.
He's high as balls tripping balls and doing a reenactment of the scene where Buzz jumps off the balcony and can't fly to his soundtrack of Toy Story.
Hot freshmen.....hot freshmen chicks everywhere
You say this every welcome week, bro.
I asked for my Beats earbuds back and he sent me a pic of them tied around his penis. Now I miss both my great ear buds and his great dick
Pretty sure I'm about to get another tattoo. It'll have mom in there somewhere for Mother's Day.
SHE BROUGHT HER PARROT TO THE PARTY. IT SQUAWKS EVERY TIME SOMEONE VOMITS LIKE 'PARTY FOUL SQUAWKKKKKK'
See! Theres potential!
Oh yeah. All good relationships start with a threesome.
We had an in depth conversion about the best way to take a dick pic. Both with and without mirrors.
Regardless of how one feels after a break up, whiskey must be consumed.
Who loses their virginity to fucking Flo Rida
Things he has managed to cum on so far on spring break: my bikini, my back-up bikini, three of my four bras, two pairs of panties, four beds, six chairs, the floor of several hotel rooms, the window/door to the balcony from both sides, my tits, my face, my stomach, his stomach, my ass, his best friend's girlfriend's face, and his best friend's dick.
Just FYI spring break is over and you're supposed to be back in class but hey sounds like you had your orgy so congrats.
Randomize