Its a bunch of hippies dancing in front of a stobe light. For ten dollars I could have gone to the strip club and at least had a lap dance
when I scratched it gently some sort of watery looking stuff came out...so then I just stopped thinknig about it.
i woke up to her playing with my penis. just wiggling it around and around. awkward night? i would say so.
My "High Times" magazine came in today, as well as my girlfriend's new sex toys. We're calling in sick today.
i found a beer bottle on top of the urinal, peed in it and put it back... if anyone gets drunk enough to fall for it they deserve it
in hindsight, $10 Malibu buckets were a terrible idea...
one of the cashiers from Kroger is eating at my kitchen table and nobody knows why.
I'm not sure which is worse. The fact that I slept with him last night, or the fact that you did too.
She Kept going around and squirting jello shots into guys mouths. That was her ice breaker.
I got written up at work for smelling like sex and vodka. Still not sure how they put that into professional terms.
I realized I was totally the dude in that hook up. I came first and didn't wanna help him finish. And he had paisley sheets.
you kept saying "i will not *breathe* regret this *breathe* in the morning *breathe* i just gotta remember *breathe* to BREATHE"
Visions of polite missionary are dancing in my head right now kinda and it alarms me
I decided to do drugs in front of her because if anyone can handle the truth it's a ghost
I'm going to target high, just in case I ask you where my paycheck went later
Randomize
