Booty call?
Dude you don't even follow my twitter
her dad is making me watch Glen Beck, i only agreed because i penetrated his daughter earlier.
It was kind of like a train wreck, except alcohol would have improved the situation greatly.
Why are all the dvds taped to the fish tank. Really.
Pretty sure I'm taking the break up well. Alcohol made me okay with it and drugs keep me agreeing with why I dumped him in the first place.
I really gotta be careful. My email inbox is equal parts notifications from instructors and this dude's dick. If I get drunk and reply to the wrong thing I might get kicked out of grad school.
I wanna give a stern lecture to whoever invented pants cause they are hard right now
I have a big to do list for you. Number 1 - me. Number 2 - drink wine 3. Talk my ears off. 4. Me again
Drank for free all night and I'm not even sleeping w the bartender. What is this magic?
Stealing, and booze. If only you added meaningless sex with random people you would have wrapped all your life passions together
Hook ups at LEGOLAND don't count right?
Are we playing inappropriate sexual encounters bingo?
I only know one person in my class and that's my dealer.
I got arrested in a leprechaun onesie
He asked if I could not say his name during sex cause he liked the girl in the apartment above me.
ETA 20 minutes and if you greet me at the door with a gin & tonic I’ll give you head.
Randomize
