I can see why you broke up with her now... it was like having sex with a corpse.
This is me reassuring you that I'm still alive and making sure you still are.
He's still filling me in on the details. mid-table dance i asked to go water skiing?
I dont know, but the way you were flopping around and gurgling made me scared that you were actually drowning in the carpet.
True bitches know their best friends favorite Boones Farm flavor.
Ok, it's starting to sound like someone's out there trying to learn to play the trombone while breaking kitchenware.
your ability to divide cases of beer among any given group of people equally was missed.
But how will the next generation learn about life choices without a Jersery Shore?
Celebrated the veterans I suppose, my mouth tastes of gin and black outs
I be dancing. See you soon. You can drink tequila from my pants.
Momentum is force x velocity. So therefore velocity is 0 - hammered, and force is ur legs locked up and ur face hits the ground.
I felt paralized they just wouldnt move. We need segways when were drunk cuz if we start to fall forward they well take off and save the fall.
jusy threw up in the airport bathroom. I am no longer thankful for fireball.
I just hooked up with a one legged Australian guy. Hooray diversity!
im so drunk that this cat is mothering me. aggressively
she brought her phone charger to the bar this bitch is ready to drink
Randomize
