Apparently they shut down a cook out cause people were selling drugsout the drive thru. Nice to be home
How am I still drunk? Whoever said breakfast is the most important meal obviously didn't skip dinner and go drinking.
he said that weed should be legal but that particular bong shouldn't be. i stared at a clock for an hour and a half after i ripped. so logically, i completely agree.
I never thought that taking apart multiple age 5 and under puzzles would be part of my house party clean up process.
Yeah, sorry about that. I just couldn't stop.
Just got a blowjob in her closet with two people sleeping outside in the room. I feel like the emperor of college.
We haven't even moved into the apartment yet and she has already screwed two of our neighbors. This is going to be the longest 12 month lease of my life.
You convinced her to break up with her boyfriend, made out with her all night, got her to buy us all shots then went home with a different girl...
That explains the "i hate you" text. But the facebook deletion is a bit harsh
My mascara kind of smells like tequila to me...Is this my body crying for help or asking for a shot?
Yea, she's 42 I'm 23. Girls our age are terrible. All they need is a divorce and a bottle of wine
About to go get a free burrito for kissing a bald man in public
There is naked swordfighting and something green and alcoholic going on in the basement. COME. OVER. NOW.
He's rescued me passed out naked on the playground next door and I've rescued him passed out naked in the middle of campus. That's why we're a great couple.
after sex he fell asleep with his water bottle in one hand and his dick in the other at 6pm. I'm a winner.
hotelroom bed is big enough to masturbate in, but small enough to not want to sleep in it after you've masturbated in it
That man makes my giblets tingle
Congrats? I think?
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