He was sitting on the bathroom floor, swirling his finger in the toilet singing the Laguna Beach theme song. I don't know whether to laugh or help him.
If I'm gonna go to jail I'm gonna be wearing a poncho
This is irresponsible on your part, leaving me alone in a bar.
I enjoy it and I rock at it. I wish there were a respectable way to make giving blow jobs a career.
My vagina is screaming your name . Wtf did you do to it
My serious response to your Cathy tattoo inquiry- Do you ever want to get laid by someone not wearing a Blossom style bucket hat? Tattoo accordingly.
she told me she wanted to fuck me because i was "rugged". if the definition of rugged is a lack of manscaping, slightly overweight, and pounding 16 oz pbrs, then yes i am rugged as fuck
I don't know what his name was or what he looked like, but I remember him rocking me to sleep with his cock
I just got winded making my bed. How do you think the workout plan is going?
I never imagine I'd say this, but can I ask Jeff for the butt plugs back even though it was a gift and we broke up?
That's okay I'm failing college because I'm to busy giving over the pant handjobs in class..
I'm bleeding and have questions
All I can taste is Pickle Juice and Cocaine.
How did you get so drunk?
Alcohol.
i just remembered i drunk watched the brave little toaster last night
Randomize
