I can't believe you let me try to pierce your nipple with a dart last night
so she sprained her ankle somehow and her friend had to carry her out while all 7 of us watched. do we even need to vote on that or is that automatic induction into the hall of shame?
It was honestly like finding a clitoris in a haystack.
We made a drinking game out of Project Runway. Gay guys are so fun.
Turns out I wasn't throwing up blood, I just threw up so hard it ripped my tonsils. Thank you Jameson.
Sat in the shower and reenacted the "Wiggle your big toe" scene from Kill Bill. THAT hungover.
Actually some of the best sex I've had involved a lot of laughing.
How small IS your cock?
So take that alcohol. I still win. I ALWAYS WIN. Plus i didn't have to wear clothes. DOUBLE WIN.
That's not a funny feeling. That's hepatitis. You got it from that bar where everything was sticky.
You told me that they girl who was giving you a handjob under the table looked a little like your sister
your body is your temple. do you really want a bunch of dicks in your temple?
Just woke up with an entire pack of Oreos in my cheetah onesie. I've been waiting for this moment forever.
Sorry for throwing up in your humidifier last night, I thought it was some sort of electrical garbage can
Life should not be this hard with a dick this big.
I might be getting fired on this week so the only option i see for tonight is to get smashed and have an orgy. actually this idea might explain why i'm not an ideal employee.
Randomize
