I've blown a few things in my day
I was wondering where I've seen this kid then I remembered I saw him doing lines of blow of his gf's leg while she was sleeping last week.
im not sure. I kicked him in the ear last night trying to kick a plastic cup off his head to prove I can kick higher than anyone.
These old men are woofing at me..PLEASE HURRY
I decided that Calgary can keep my underwear. They earned it.
The venue for the new years party is close to the hospital for obvious reasons.
Did he seem like the type of guy that would maybe take weed as payment?
I will expect an hourly check text to confirm you are alive and that you aren't dead in a ditch somewhere with a hobo dry humping your corpse
I just wanna be able to fart and do my homework but he won't leave
If I'm walking weird, don't judge me. Things got kinda outta hand with the GoPro on.
I made him watch the first 5 episodes of Game of Thrones before I decided to sleep with him.
1) Woke up alone with my bathing suit on inside out spooning an empty bottle of Jack, 2) get the fuck on to my level 3) please pick me up and bring a stuffed pony, some Oreo's and my pride...
Hows your mom
Shes good, she claims she wasnt drunk
I still dont see how i drunkenly impressed your mom
It’s the biggest dick I’ve ever seen. His IQ drops 25 points when he’s hard because there’s no blood going to his brain
Randomize
