So she couldn't stop dragging her teeth while she was blowing me.
Ahh dude, that fucking sucks, what'd you do about it?
Decided to drag my teeth while eating her out... She got the point.
No it only became awkward when she walked in with her new boyfriend and we realized we'd all banged her
i just saw an ambulance and a fire truck pull away from the dorms. it appears somebody actually IS feeling shittier than me today.
dude you cant keep breaking into my house just to raid my fridge.. especially at 3AM.
Having my alarm go off at 3:30 makes me wanna rip my dick off and shove it through my eye socket
I paid off a credit card today. And I was tested negative for HIV. AND I did laundry. Honestly, I'm most excited about the laundry.
tanning, a slurpee, and a cigarette. spa day college edition
Dude, I'm pretty sure I slept with my TA's girlfriend
I should send him a pic of my crotch with the caption "thanks for the memories"
Its a holy bong. We had to bless the holy bong water.
It's not safe here. I had urgent and violent diarrhea last night, and I got blackout drunk. Please don't come over.
I JUST SAW MY THERAPIST OUTSIDE OF WORK AND I DONT KNOW THE ADULT THING TO DO
I passed up getting laid last night. It's almost been a YEAR - what the Hell was I thinking, being so choosy??
Let's make a rule now, to not smoke weed out of our trumpets. After tonight.
Tbh I’m not a vibrator enthusiast
But I am godly
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