Maybe if i eat something filling like whole wheat pasta it will make me less hungry for things like dick
Charles is a playa. And I don't mean the spanish word for beach.
Maybe I need a light up heart over my vagina like Christina aguilera to get the point across
the easter KEGG...out of a drunken typo there arose a new and spectacular holiday tradition
I kindof just wanted to go downstairs and let his dad know how good his son was at sex
the saddest part is, this is not even the first time i've woken up in a shopping cart with a concussion.
You handed J your Mayan-pocalypse shopping list and told him he wasn't getting laid unless he brought everything on it. Where is he supposed to get a live goat?!
You were convinced you would hurt my car if you opened the door. Then you barfed in the pretzle bucket Peter gave you
Woke up in the middle of my kitchen clutching a cheesy gordita crunch
I just walked through the door and she ran up to me, hugged me, unzipped my pants and immediately started sucking my dick. Good day.
i mean hes a break dancing puerto rican, how do you think the sex was?
I just ate your leftovers whilst watching Garfield and Friends. Thank you across the board.
im questioning your sanity while also accepting your reality
Why let a Christmas Eve hangover ruin a perfectly good Christmas Day acid trip?
The last I heard from her she said she was going to plant sunflowers, get drunk on white wine and listen to Everybody Wants to Rule the World on repeat.
Randomize
