I smell stomach acid.
she said she's never had and orgasm AND she's a cubs fan...ouch.
We broke two of his toes while having sex. He laughed said he'd fix it in the morning and kept going. I think I'm in love
Dude your neighbors are having a garage sale. They were judging me as I walk of shamed back to my car.
Yes I have a handle on life. A handle of Svedka.
Do something fun then. Blow up the house or whatever.
How have you survived this long?
Dumb luck and a deal with the devil.
It's annoying. I only date people who are 6 foot 3, drug dealers, or 2 years older than me.
2nd fun fact: he has a square tan line around his dick.
Finally buying a camera. Missed out on recording a 3way last night. Hindsight. Ugh.
So what's today's forecast for the female rollercoaster you've been riding?
I've orgasmed four times in the past 24 hours. And my mom's dropping off cookies later
There's a set of buzz lightyear wings in lost and found at work. I just need access to your roof.
Oh well, he'll live. He has a hand and a penis.
some guy had a sword and everyones crying..it turned bad..fast.
Nah, just stick him in a closet with some cheetos, a blunt and soda. The darkness will calm him down until Mallory can be located.
Randomize
