Dude I just witnessed a midget touching himself and singing the chorus to somebodys watching me by michael jackson... it kinda turned me on
All I've ever wanted to do in life is right
Maybe you should learn how to spell write first
Have you ever slowed down next to the oldest people on the highway while getting road head just to see their extended reaction?
you left with a lisa lampanelli lookalike... i hope she was atleast funny
Just did a kegstand with my dad. Happy fathers day.
So this guy is eyeing me from across the bar. Either the girl I hit on next to him is his girlfriend or he's her gay best friend. I should show him my Penis and find out.
Dude. Do it.
Definitely her date. But she saw it too. So now he used to be her date. Why can't this stuff Happen when I'm sober?
A surprise thumb up the ass and I'm wide awake. She was right, no need for caffine pills I could fight ninjas now.
Then he unzipped his pants and whispers, " oohhh, look out!"
he just cleaned his wound with pinnacle whipped
I stole a tiki torch last night and just returned it. Things have been better.
New Serial podcast is out. We can listen to it tonight instead of having sex.
The taste of regret at 8am, yup that taste is Jack Daniel's
Rum and your dick are involved. You're relying on the unreliable narrator.
you told us the chicken was mocking you, then proceeded to explain that every time someone reads your mind you accidentally think of something sexual
He made me promise not to describe his penis in detail to you....oops.
Randomize
