how was your night?
well, i just purchased 'sorry for being a drunk whore' cupcakes. how do you think my night was?
Dude, a dry wedding reception should nullify the vows, because really, without the booze, you might as well be 5 years old again and playing dress-up
i am breaking up with you. because you wash your hair too much and you only drink light beer and because you're not party enough.
The guy that just projectile vomited over the balcony is now going down to find the pill he just puked up. He said he wasn't about to waste $15.
1 in 5 deaths i nrussia is alcohol related. GO MOTHERLAND
I hope you realize, I'm counting on you as my wingman next semester. It's your turn to advertise another man's penis. I did my tour all freshman year.
Well you tried to pay for a drink with your keys for one...
I need to have sex. It's becoming like a matter of public safety.
Lets just say my thoughts when getting dressed this morning was "vagina friendly" options
Let's try finding a bar where there aren't people who want to hang me from a tree by my nutsack
Honestly my life is shambles over a married man who looked like a fuckin NERD ON HIS WEDDING DAY
DO NOT TOUCH THE SOAP ITS HAD SOME UNORTHODOX USES WITHIN THE PAST 15 HOURS
Thanks for duct tapping my dick to my leg while I was passed out. I could only aim straight down. I stood on your bed. Have a nice day at work!
We could just stay sober.
No! We tried that once.
It sucked.
Drunk me says 72 hours of Mexican Viagra and room service.Sober me says we stopped being lovers for a reason after the last lost weekend.
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