Tell her you can forgive her unacceptable behavior because her dad and his dog weren't married when they conceived her.
noo you weren't that drunk. you just knocked the grill over and couldn't get the key in the door, so you climbed through the window. success.
the threesome consisted of him fingering dana while i laid next to them watching how i met your mother.
my drunken justification for peeing in her closet was that her shoes were ugly
I feel like my chances would have been better if I hadn't told her "I need to fuck you before you leave."
15 year-old stoners have those problems. we're college students dude. dont be like that...
he's definitely still old enough to be your dad. even your grandfather, if you come from a line of juvenile delinquents
I cried at the bouncer while saying I wished he was my father... They had no idea what to do with me.
You casually put your finger in my ass and other people are weird..
I wanna stuff your vagina full of Reese's peanut butter hearts and eat you clean
i have pictures frm only 4 hours ago that will fucking ruin you so i suggest yuo come get me.
Where are you?
dunno. ask mike. bring pain killers. and underwear. and my dignity.
Hahaha. I'm so high, this is gonna be so intense. Even the DVD menu scared the shit out of me.
Does the girl you just banged want anything from Taco Bell?
im pretty sure i tried to use axe body spray to cover up the strong urine smell coming from my jeans. im also pretty sure that it didnt work.
I literally ended up in this basement and was tangoing w my friend and then I peed in a supply closet and had to be put to bed
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