Dude ur right that IS what a vagina looks like!
Do everybody a favor and GET LAID MORE.
wasted. watching meteors, awesome idea i ever had, see 2 for every 1 with ma double vision
i just taught a 3 year ld how to do a jager bomb, i cant wait to have kids
Whatever, she only has 293 friends, she cant afford to be defriending me..
The waiter to-go cupped my bloody mary without me even asking. THAT hungover.
Every time you started making out for him we all cheered for you... that's what sorority sisters do - they cheer you on when you make bad life decisions at the bar.
Well, I'm at the grocery store wondering whether I exist or not.
I was worried he'd break you after the hiatus your lady parts had to take from social interaction.
I think I just smoked a piece of your foot. Were u picking your feet by the weed?
I have never fucking hated the horrible sound of dozens of off-key recorders BLARING their fucked rendition of "Fais Do-Do" in unison against the screams of an adult male... more than I do now. This is why people avoid teaching. Kill me. End it all.
The council and I are about to open up a bottle of malort.
UPGATe: THE COUNCIL AND I HAVE AGREED TO BAHN MALORT FROM THE HOUSEHOLD
The cop looked me right in the eye and apologized for cock blocking me.
Hey, is this going to be a real date, or am I just meeting you at a hotel to have sex in the bathroom? Given our history, I think it's a fair question.
I wrote myself a note last night telling me to tell you that you're the best person ever, and asking you not to tell me what I did, I think I'm trusting my drunk judgment on that one.
You guys do the cocaine and I'll do the dishes.
Randomize
