I feel like I'm in dance class right now
We played Rock, Paper, Scissors last night to see who was the least drunk to drive.
The Rock won.
i just woke up and "where the fuck is taco bell" was in my search engine...
Someone just proposed in Subway. Trying not to laugh.
i had a dream that i had so much marijuana that i didn't know what to do with it. i woke up and cried.
I'm at Lowes and I'm constantly looking for things to vomit in, just in case
I just realized that he was my first random hookup that didnt cause a massive breakup or divorce. Im starting to grow up
Moment of the night: you were impatient while I paid for the tequila shots and proceeded to lick and salt MY hand for me. This is why we're roommates.
I was throwing up in the shower. He was throwing up on me. It was a cute couple moment for us.
he was cumming and all I could think about was the pathway of sperm the in penis. thanks a lot nursing
I'm dressed like a deranged cupcake. Let's get fucked up.
I also just told a guy I was available for counseling in case he needed to 'bang' things out. I've become a monster.
The guy had great intentions when throwing us free beer off the balcony... but of course I was the one to get hit in the face because that's the kind of luck I have
Realizing life ain't all about burritos and strippers, it's a struggle out there, and it ain't looking pretty so far,..
wasn't that the evening we made out with the girls from the dental school, drank 3000 beers, almost had to beat up a guy at the strip club and James nailed some hot piece of tail and took her OSU windbreaker, which my dad went on to wear multiple times after finding it in the garage.
Yes. To all of that. Yes.
Randomize
