i'm dressed up like the coppertone baby and being hit on a guy in a monk costume. the irony is not lost on me.
I just discovered cum stains from two different guys on my wall. I don't know whether to be proud or horrified.
Great. My funeral dress now smells of smoke and disappointing sex.
Which is scary since we both think with our vaginas
Hungover snowboarding. Puked off the lift and traumatized a group lesson for kids. Crash course on adulthood.
He's bringing condoms over for me in case we "bone".... the fact he calls it boning is not a great start.
I imagine her to be like a 19th century explorer/adventurer with different boys' hearts on her wall like animal heads
Like Teddy Roosevelt
Yes, he did use his cock to direct traffic from my 3rd story window. That's why I love him
Oh god. Just tried to hail a pizza delivery car. Awkward.
International sake day = success
What!? It's 7:30am on gameday. This keg is not going to drink itself.
Ever wonder what all the drugs you've ever done would look like put together?
Heaven. . It would look like heaven
Sweet! It'll be a "that-minor-I-used-to-serve-alcohol-to-is-no-longer-a-minor" party!!!
So anyway, I'm just floating along life with my vibrator and low expectations.
I feel like a grown up and it scares me so I'm hiding out in the bathroom stall and messaging you
Give me a few. Gonna ride the rollercoaster.
Randomize