she read insantiy as in-nast-tit-ty and asked what the hell does that mean...
vagina is talking i cant
We were walking home when he passed out, we left him. Just got a call from him, hes in a jail in Canada.
I told him I'd put in a good word. And the word of the day is: NEGATIVE
that's probably because you left your arm in the fishtank for 90% of the night
You are right. The scrape marks on her ass are from her breaking the doggy door by crawling through it.
Priorities: waking up on your doorstep desperately clutching half a meatball marinara but with no sign of your keys, purse or housemate. Where are you?!
No no no no no no.... That's my emergency bottle for when I realize I've hit rock bottom
If I had your job the next day id be on the news. And not the good news. Like fox & friends. Nancy grace would have my ass.
I spent $31 at mcdonalds last night. Threw my nuggets all over the yard, ate them out of the snow, picked a fight about it, vomited, then passed out.
Naked.
YOURE ABOUT TO SEE SO MUCH UNCIRCUMCISED DICK
Still alive. Just brushed my teeth with fireball.
I just ate broccoli before drinking. Does that make me a responsible adult?
You could at least care enough to fake an orgasm for me.
You literally asked him, “Do you come here often? Do you want to visit my vagina?” With no hesitation
Randomize
