i just realized Britney Spears and I are more alike than I thought. Both of us have our parents in complete control of our lives, we both have restraining orders on previous boyfriends, and we all know both of us can put on a hell of a show
Keeping hand sanitizer and lube in the same drawer in the same size bottle = awful idea
new years resolution: more sex, less car punching, more chipotle.
The future queen of Norway was pregnant with a druglord's baby when she met the prince. We still have hope.
I've hooked up with six guys in my ethics class next semester...I feel like I've failed already
Man when i saw they were the only ones hard core grinding to the Cha Cha slide against the wall, I knew they were gonna have sex tonight.
The guy in the next stall screamed courtesy flush and then puked. Bless you Vegas
scarred for life. way too high and witnessed some chick give a dude head on the dance floor
She gained 35 lbs and has an ankle bracelet, time for new booty call.
Just got blown in a rental car. I need to get rear ended more often
So the bartender from Applebees totally looks like he would take his clothes off for $40
I like how you possess the gift that turns normal guys into strippers
It's hard to be judgmental of others when you are wearing silver pleather.
I just shaved my "bikini area" into a fucking pizza slice
She's in it for that fear factor ya'll. Obsession and stalking or nothing.
I realized it was late, and he was my brother in humanity and another incarnation of my own life force and consciousness, so I regained control of myself, thanked him for helping me, and went home.
Randomize
