By getting ready I mean putting baby powder in my hair and possibly changing my pajamas to another pair of pajamas
He posted a picture of my bra on facebook with the caption "I don't know who I hooked up with last night but if this is yours please come pick it up".
She tried to escape and she fell and hit the door. She's gunna freak when she wakes up with only half a tooth.
I'm not embarrassed about the lap dance. I'm embarrassed for the singing during.
He came, while we were making out fully clothed. I'm going to write a book.
I woke up and he was just feeling up my stomach. I felt like buddha and he was rubbing my belly for good luck. never again.
You may now shotgun with the bride
Oh. I'm probably going to just get a viagra and ruin your life.
Just follow the currents of life. And if they take me on to a guys dick, so be it.
Just so you know, I woke up with 2 oven mits in my bed and no clothes on.
This is the beginning of the end. Testicle Tuesdays and free ball Friday are going to scar people for life
Dude that picute of your balls will haunt my nightmares
I just put on underwear fresh outta the dryer and it's like tiny Angels are giving them warm supportive hugs all over
Are you ok?
They gave me a cat until I fall asleep. His name is fluffy because he's fluffy.
OMFG. JUST WALKED IN ON A DUDE JERKING IT IN THE MCDONALDS BATHROOM
Stall or urinal?
She yelled “outlaw country” right before we heard the police siren
Randomize
