booty call
i swear to god if you come over i will kick you in the pussy.
but, i was nude. you really should respect my stupidity and delete them. please.
It all came flooding back to me: there was a woman with one hand
No I remember falling down the stairs I just don't remember it hurting.
Her boyfriend was hitting on other girls while drunk. But, she said she was okay with it because she is a feminist and she supports all women's decisions.
Yeah. You can ask him out. We're just fuck buddies. My vagina will be sad but your heart can be happy.
The best part about living in a college town is the annual rush of senior girls who want to get in their lesbian experiment before they graduate.
There. Isnt. A. Single. Person. Who. Is. Not. High. At. Church.
As soon as we had sex he stopped opening doors for me. That wasn't an exchange. Im still a god damn princess
You tried paying your tab with the coaster
Once again, your first date sounds like something of an epic. Odysseus' Quest for Fourth Base.
This drunk girl kept yelling for water so I dipped a cup in the toilet and gave it to her. She was thanking me all night.
sorry i was ignoring you last night i accidentally did a bunch of pcp and thought i was inside tron
It's sunday night and I just went to the store to buy cookie dough and condoms, I'm so proud of myself.
Divorce can be hard, but look on the bright side. Your soon to be ex raved about your dick and I’m great with hard things ;-)
Randomize
