I don't remember him, but he's saved in my phone as "uh oh zbt"
weed salsa. i deserve a nobel prize
I feel awful
Physically or morally
Physically. The only immoral thing I did was steal money from strippers while they gave me lapdances.
I woke up smelling like the ciroc you tried pouring into my mouth last night. I think my clothes are still soaked
I'm so sick
I would imagine. You did most of your drinking for brazil last night.
That and I think I got food poisoning from sharing nachos with that homeless guy..
That's actually a fantastic idea... The kinky sex dungeon will be vastly improved by the addition of a lightsaber
Asking the homeless man what buss shelter is the warmest was not a good idea
As we were about to go at it, his roommates barged in singing jumper by third eye blind. Weirdest almost one night stand ever.
The forecast for tonight is alcohol and low expectations.
You're the only meteorologist I listen to.
I'm tired of the topic. I sent him a pic of my vagina to change it.
I can't believe I'm going to buy bitcoin to pay for erection pills
We walked 3 miles to the strip club. Stopped for roadies, it wasn't that bad.
PLEASE LET MY BIRD FUCK YOUR BIRD
Then you fell out of your chair, looked right at me and said, "You are sooo drunk."
He screamed, "Let there be light!" when he came
Randomize
