sooooo how many boyfriends is too many?
New low: just hacked my moms facebook
looks like were buying each other an abortion for our one year present...
did you mean anything you said last night? i just wnna know
no
Don't judge me. He's really sexy for a 17 year old. We made nasty in the womens bathroom at the beach. Don't worry. I wore sandals in there.
None of that is ok.
This beer is not sobering me up at all
I don't remember how we paid for the cab. I do however remember giving him my heels 2 help with the bill.
At the time, making out with dudes for keg money seemed like a genius idea. Now I realize it was borderline prostitution.
Mike is so stoned. I just heard him quietly mutter to himself "rock a piss" as he walked down the hall to the bathroom
Getting sick, pulled the filter off a camel crush and rolled it into my joint to clear my sinuses. If there were stoner awards, I'd receive one.
the saddest part is, this is not even the first time i've woken up in a shopping cart with a concussion.
I am having telepathic thoughts with my cat. He loves me and wants me to blow his nose
Fuck you and your widespread penis snapchat
Have you ever drank bourbon in your underwear while wearing a Santa hat and reflecting on the decisions of your life? Asking for a friend.
i almost got into an argument defending my life choices with a guinea pig eating chocolate cake at 4am
Randomize
